SWEENEY TODD

 

Okay, I have a problem with some people. People keep saying that Sweeney Todd isn’t a real person. People also say that I know nothing of anything. Others wonder why I’m still here. *Laughs* Well, I am here to clean the minds of simpletons. Just People. People who don’t see out of the box. Well, I am the clear opposite. Actually, I was never in the box. I never think of anything as ‘just.’ (well…accept life. That is just life. Nothing more.) Okay, here is a single piece of information that the Just People will never believe. Sweeney Todd was real! I have the information. I wont tell you where I got it from, but I will let you see the real Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett.

(Kettledrum rolls)

 

       Sweeney Todd:

       Born: 1756                Died: 1802

             Nicknames: Human Ghoul, Demon Barber Of Fleet Street    Sex: Male                  Race: White

             Type: Stationary        Motive: Criminal Enterprise

              Dates: 1784-1801     Victims: 160+ alleged

              Modus Operandi: Demon Of Fleet Street killed and robbed victims of both sexes; Flesh of victims were processed and sold as ‘veal pies’ by lover/accomplice Margery Lovett. Also had one of those really awesome barber chairs like in the movie!  

                Disposition: Hanged on one account in January 25, 1802; Lovett committed suicide in prison after confessing in December 1801.

 

Reviews

[Lynx]

Tis even a story?

But yeah, I believe Sweeney Todd existed, although I like the Johnny Depp version too, xD.

I believe in a great many weird things, so yay.