I Cannot

My statement to myself, to remind myself of what I cannot do.

I cannot be weak
I cannot cry
Because my eyes get puffy
So I hold my head up high

Toughen up, suck it up
There isn't any blood
It doesn't really hurt
Go rub on some mud

I am weak
Yet I cannot cry
Because you said
To hold my head up high

Everything hurts
But you wouldn't know
I paste on a smile
I put on a show

Well it does really hurt
And now there is blood
But you still can't see it
I'm hiding the flood

You told me to hide
What I was feeling inside
Don't ever be weak
No matter who's on your side

And now you're mad
Because I listened
And I hid the pain
But the blood still glistened

You tell me to share
To let you inside
You didn't realize
How much I had died

How far am I gone?
I don't really know
I guess I'll find out
As I travel the road

I am still alone
When I want to be
Because you don't
Hover around me

But I've learned how
To talk to you now
Especially when I want
To throw in the towel

I'm not giving up
Because you finally see
Although it still hurts
You're helping me

Some call me a fighter
For trying to stop
But this battle is a war
And a fighter I'm not

I only look strong
I only look tough
It's the mask that I wear
And alone it's not enough

I'm only succeeding
Because of my team
My family and friends
Are fighting for me

For the long road ahead
I promise to share
My burden of pain
With those who care

I cannot be strong
I cannot stop crying
But for those that I love
I cannot stop trying

Author's Note

Let me know what you think, if there's any mistakes in spelling or anything.