Train

Asked for 1 word to write a poem. That word was train.

This morning on the platform

I ran into your sight

Your gaze froze me in place

Love at first light

That train I won’t forget

The day holds me tight

This morning on the platform

I knew it was right

Reviews

[Anna Blackburn]

I really enjoyed this poem, but I feel as if it might be better to switch light and sight. That sound better to me..

[Tavar]

I can see where you would like that, but the idea was the twist on love at first sight and go with light. Since it is morning and dawn is just rising up. And the gaze of their person is perceived as their sight, instead of the light they are presenting.

[Mikahli]

👏👏 I like the "love at first light" line...but the ending feels a bit unfinished because of the rhyme scheme? Perhaps one more line at the end would sound more complete. ^^

[Tavar]

Yes, That has been bothering me as well! I feel I need to finish this better. I plan to work on it more later!