Chapter 4

Lucas was holding me close to him and the hotel blankets were wrapped snugly around us.  When my screaming woke me up, Lucas stirred as well.  I began to cry and he became fully aware of what was happening.  He whispered to me that everything would be okay and he would protect me.  He began singing softly and pulled me back to him.  I cried silently into his shoulder as he pulled back my face to wipe away my tears.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up” I kept crying, and this seemed to upset me even more.  If I had been in my house like I should be, he would be at home sleeping in a soft, comfy bed.  Now all he had was a crying 15-year-old girl and a hard bed with scratchy sheets.  The comforter barely supplied any warmth.

“Did you have a bad dream, Sweetie?”  His voice almost made everything okay when added to his warm breath on my forehead and his heart beating in his warm chest.

“Yeah” I hiccupped as my sobs decreased in intensity and amount.  “It was good at first, so good.  Why couldn’t we still be that way?  Why wasn’t my Sophie happy anymore?”  My crying came back full force as I whispered the question.  Was it my fault she wasn’t happy…?  Could I have saved her…?

“It’s okay, Honey.” Lucas breathed in my ear.  “She loved you very much, and I know she misses you.”  This idea seemed impossible to me.  How could she love anyone if she was dead?  Lucas was pretty stupid, just like I had assumed he was.  I felt angry with him.  I wanted to smack him, or yell at him for his stupidity.  I didn’t know what to call him.  He’s my stupid, but incredibly sweet Lucas.  Was he just acting nice to try to win me over because I was weak?  Was he taking my sister’s suicide as a chance to use me?

“Why are you here?” I snapped furiously.

“What...?” He questioned with false innocence coated around his voice, eyes, and even his body.

“Are you just using my sister’s suicide as a way to use me?  Is it because I’m having a hard part in my life?  How could I be so stupid!?  You don’t care!  Guys never care about anyone but themselves.  Why would you be any different?”  I stood up as I threw my anger at him.  I started to walk off, but the ground just whooshed up to my face.  I sat up and turned to see what tripped me.  Blankets were wrapped around my ankles.

“You okay?”  He asked as he stood and moved toward me.

“I’m fine.”  My cheeks burned as I untied myself and got back up.  I stormed out the door and he followed me.  Why would he follow me?  I whirled around to ask him but he grabbed my arms and pulled me to him.  His lips met mine and I tried to fight.  I struggled to free myself.  After a few seconds, I stopped fighting.  I put my arms around him and kissed him back.  I put all my sorrow, anger, hate, and pain into that kiss.

He pulled away, and apologized guiltily.  “I’ll take you home now if you want.  I shouldn’t have behaved like that.

“It’s okay.  I don’t want to go home.”  I had no idea what I was doing.  I must have been crazy.  To stop the silence, I asked, “What time is it?”

“3:56” He stated, glancing at his watch.  He just stared at the floor after that, so I let him know how tired I was.  I stepped over to him and lifted his chin with my hand.  His eyes were a deep blue, almost an almost purple tint to it.  I saw my face reflected in his eyes, and I wasn’t a pretty sight.  I gave up my encouraging speech in embarrassment and stared at the floor with Lucas.

“Let’s get back to bed,” He offered, sparing a glance at me for my response.  My response, shockingly, was turning and taking his hand, then leading him back inside.  I dragged my exhausted body to the bed, which appeared much more comfortable now.  I collapsed onto the bed and pulled him down with me.

“It’s okay, Love.  Sleep now.”  He soothed.  I pulled the covers up to my chin, still not getting any warmer.  Lucas walked to his side of the bed and layed down next to me.  He rubbed my arms vigorously, warming them.  I closed my eyes and entered my dreamless sleep.