From your biggest fan

This is a poem for one of my friends.

Hair of fire 

Blue green eyes 

Kindness within 

Your presence lies 

Your song it sings 

A voice of truth 

And everyday 

It helps me through 

I will listen, learn from you 

I yearn to know the things you do 

As I am drawn 

Back to your home 

I will know 

I'm not alone 

For when I see you 

I do hear 

Your truthful music 

Loud and clear 

Because I know that you are true 

With all my soul I do thank you.

Author's Note

This I made for a friend who has helped me so much. I would like some feedback on it before I give it to her.

Reviews

[OhSnapShley]

This is very cute and the rhythm flows nice. Good job.

[Taz]

Thank you!

[Gee]

Sweet as, you are lucky to have each other. True friends are to be cherished.

[Taz]

They're also hard to find. Thank you.

[Gee]

Indeed, I'm 50+ and have had a best mate for 45 years

[Taz]

Cool. I'm 16 and I have 2 best friends and I always feel blessed to have them espcially one of them 8n my life for she has made more of a difference than she knows.

[ron]

Aww, this is so sweet.

[Surya]

Its a beautiful gift, Just pass it..:)

[EcstaticEuphoria]

Beautiful and truly endearing, what a wonderful gift!

[Hebe]

Wonderful gift to give a friend... sincere words crafted with love!

[Coyote Poetry]

Kind and hopeful words shared. I liked the thankfulness in the words shared. Thank you Taz for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[The Exiled Wolf]

Hair of fire - Very figurative - love this line!
Blue green eyes - You may want to change it to "ocean blue eyes" or "eyes of aquamarine" or something like that - it sounds cool to echo with "hair of fire". Anyways just a suggestion:)
Kindness within
Your presence lies
Your song it sings
A voice of truth - I can hear these two lines sing!
And everyday - The "and" here seems a little bit dragging on to me. If you wish to keep the 3-syllable rhythm, you may consider "day by day"
It helps me through
I will listen, learn from you
I yearn to know the things you do
As I am drawn
Back to your home
I will know - removing the "will" will sound more certain (don't know whether if the certainty is what you want tho)
I'm not alone
For when I see you
I do hear
Your truthful music - "truth" has been used above - may sound repetitive. You may try something like "sincere" or something like that...
Loud and clear
Because I know that you are true
With all my soul I do thank you.

Conclusion: Your friend will definitely be surprised when she gets this. This is an awesome piece with sincere emotions flowing through. Good choice of figurative language. Plus the rhythm sounds great to me. Good for you that you have such a great friend too!

[Taz]

Wow, thank you for the advice.

[Jessica Lima]

Your friend will absolutely love it. Its extremely sweet and overflows with emotion. I wish I had a friend like that. Both of you are very lucky to have found one another in this craziness we call world.

[Taz]

Thank you so much.

[Shasha]

This is amazing! I am sure it will be a blast when she will read it! It's very sweet and shows your love and care for her! It's a beautiful writing.

[Taz]

That is reassuring thanks!