Vegan Guy

I once met a vegan guy
On a blind date at a coffee shop.
He seemed nervous
Because he spent the majority
Of the time looking about, giggling.
At one point he stopped laughing

 

-And farted-

 

Which he explained to me
Was a result of his vegan diet.
 

Needless to say
I wasn't sold
On him
Or the vegan lifestyle.

 

Perhaps it is noble
To give up the consumption
Of animal products-

 

Perhaps it could save
The trees,
The cows,
The rainforests,

 

But I'm fairly certain
That at that moment,
In that coffee shop
It had lost all it's nobility
To me.

Reviews

[Quinn W]

I found this poem very funny. I am vegan and can say that gas is a common thing in this lifestyle. Less so if you eat a more plant based or raw vegan diet though. I thought this poem was funny and entertaining. But please don't let gas deter you from a vegan diet. There are many benefits.

[Randall Richard]

i like this. honest, witty, entertaining. good stuff

[Shane Patrick]

haha gimmie a steak... next time I fart in front of someone on accident that is what I will do blame it on my diet... my feeling would be that it will have the same effect.. lol.. good write my friend

[Zoie Pain]

HAHA that was fun... good work as usual dear

[R J Askew]

this is very amusing...very deadpan. is it true?! if not it is a great caricature...almost Hogarthian in a way. there is nothing wrong with the vegan, his cabbage heart is in the right place...but oh dear me...PARP! ... bye bye vegan!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I love it... such a funny poem.. very refreshing... I loved that you used the word fart... guess I'm just as mature.

[Fran Marie]

This is just hilarious LOL, Witty, and wayyyy tooo funny~should have had an outdoor picnic date with him instead, and of course bring him some beans to eat!!~Great Write!~Fran Marie

[Klyn]

LMAO.....when think Vegan, some want to think of Alicia Silverstone and her new PETA commercial. She was recently on The View and was talking about it. I am personally a pweeta fan ....here's a quote from the site...

Vegans say that only eating veggies is more "humane". But is it so humane to torture poor Asparagus? Do you feel, "touchy feely" when you bite into a cabbage? Those are organisms too and must die for you to live! Why limit yourself to the death of a crummy celery stalk when you can eat a giraffe.

Thanks for the laugh this morning...I had a rough night at work!

[Star]

LOL I have known a few of those guys. Now, I have to ask myself how much talent it takes to not only create a poem, but also one using "fart" in it that doesn't sound like it was written by a three year old. I have come to the conclusion that it takes A LOT of talent LOL Well done!