John opens up
the butterfly book
and scans the page
and sits on the chair
by the window
and tries to focus
on the contents
on the pictures
of the butterflies
on the script
but the image
of Elaine
smiling at him
on the school bus
just a simple smile
shyly given
but causing an explosion
within him
as he sat there
and let it almost
take him apart
causing shrapnel like pieces
of him to push
about inside
his mind and heart
seemingly
tearing him apart
the picture
of the Red Admiral
pleases him
the colour red
especially makes him smile
but briefly as a blink
then her eyes
behind the glasses
seem to scan him
and that smile
God how it works on him
he sets down the book
on his knee
book cover
facing him open
his hand upon it
trying to hold in place
her smile
that shyest of smiles
the window looks out
on the orchard
trees in blossom
butterflies fluttering by
but o that smile
and he wants
to drink it in
to absorb it
like a sponge
to want to go
over the spreading
of her lips
over and over
in that cutest of smiles
yet as much
as he tries to hold it
it evaporates like breath
on glass
and o he tries to clutch
at it in his mind
like one moving
a hand in darkness
being blind.
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