Self Destructive

You caused this! -

My life filled with emptiness and moments I wish I could take back! The mistakes you made pilling onto my back wearing me down until my body can’t take it anymore. -

You over power everything! - The medication in my system, the choices I make, the happy thoughts - my life! You rip everything out of me, wear me down, tearing away all thats around me. 

What is it you want to accomplish here?

I am already broken.

I am already tired. 

I am already forgotten. 

I am already alone. 

A mind of it’s own, controlling everything I do. -

I can not live without you and yet I wish I could. I wish you would stop this screaming. I wish you would stop pushing everyone I get close to away from me. I wish you would let me trust someone for once. I wish you would let me be happy.

But you can’t! 

You demon! 

You make me isolate myself, have trust issues, ignore the people I love the most. 

You are the only thing I should ignore. -

But how do you ignore something that is apart of you?

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"I am already broken.
I am already tired.
I am already forgotten.
I am already alone.
A mind of it’s own, controlling everything I do. -
I can not live without you and yet I wish I could. I wish you would stop this screaming"

Well, stated clearly and honestly. Bravo..................

[tess]

Thanks for your review! Im not very good at writing poetry, I kind of just write down what I feel... But I am glad you enjoyed it!!!!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)......

[Nessie_AJ]

This really hits close to home. Outstanding job. It's almost like you know how it will end, but the ending still hits you like a ton of bricks. Great!

[Closing Thoughts]

How could you ever say you're not good at writing poetry? I love this. The emotion in it is so perfect, I can completely empathize. The punctuation, line breaks, and repetition help reinforce your voice. It's powerful. You've made me hate this thing that you "should ignore". My only suggestion would be for the very last line. It's just a bit awkward because it doesn't flow as smoothly as everything else. Consider cutting, "The only problem is", as it isn't necessary and drags the sentence down. Perhaps just, "But". So it could read:

"You are the only thing I should ignore-
But how do you ignore something that is a part of you?"

Just a suggestion though! I love love loved this poem. Thank you so much for sharing!

[tess]

Thank you!
You are right, I think "But" would sound a whole lot smoother. I did write the ending of this poem before I wrote the rest so Im guessing thats why it sounds a bit odd at the end (: and yes the thing that I "Should Ignore" Is something you either can hate or embrace but neither one can solve your problem! Quite confusing it's just something I feel that necessarily others don't. I am glad you enjoyed it though!!!!

[Lily Mae]

A friend of mine suffers from DID Schizophrenia and your write is exactly what he says. The suffering is immeasurable.. Excellent and well said...xo