End of the Search

A request for a friend

She spoke with hesitation, a hidden whisper echoing into the distance. No one cared about her, or so she thought, she was disappearing everyday and it petrified her. Although she was smart and beautiful she masked it with a straight face because she thought smiles were too ‘cool for her.’ She thought her laughed sucked, her hair was ugly, and don’t get her started about her eyes. All her flaws she saw in the mirror drove her insane to the point where her mind just con caved on her. The imperfections wore her down leaving behind shadows of scars up her arms. Although these problems seemed entirely too common for the average girl her age, she didn't come close to the ordinary. In fact she didn’t give up on herself, she kept fighting, looking for someone who wouldn’t see her as some voice in the back of class. Her whole life she searched for those few, desperately wanting just one person to call her best friend, one person who cared. As the months past with no luck she dropped to her knees crying in her bedroom for anyone to notice her pain. Loneliness happen to be her worst enemy. Countless days went on with constant disapproval from her mind, screaming at her inside to just give the f**k up. After awhile she gave into her minds temptations and after awhile she distanced herself from the people in her life. A close friend was now someone in the hall. The person she loved was forced to be forgotten, now just another hole burning into her head. Nights were the worst for her, they all came back like ghosts taunting and asking her why she did it but her mind told her they didn't really care. She sat in class with those people who didn't ‘care’ and it hurt her heart to think she did this to herself. She of course didn't want to grow up alone, but her mind told her other wise. Maybe when she was gone there would be less heart ache, if any. Her actions toward others told me she didn’t appreciate herself. When she finally put up the fight with her brain and continued to search for that one, she would always leave. It wasn’t her fault, in fact the many people who she was with did not treat her right in my opinion, maybe her brain was just protecting her. Although she thought the worst in herself, I always thought the best. She sat behind me in English class writing her feelings like if somehow she could get them out everything would be ok, the hope and fighting would begin again. She never really said those words to me, or act lonely in anyway but if you listened closely to the sound of her voice and her awkward excuses, you could tell how much she was hurting. Throughout all the hurt I don’t think she knew that that person she was searching for was right in front of her. It doesn’t matter what her brain says this time, because her brains is the liar in this case, the corrupted source. I do care about her, I would do anything to see her smile even though she thinks its too cool, I do think her eyes are beautiful, I do think the boy she is with now will treat her right, and I would be glad to call her my best friend. 

Reviews

[Elwyn]

You are completely wonderful about writing about other people. This is beautiful and you've captured the emotion and strife really well. I love how the narrator balances a tone that is both sweet/admiring and factual. Quite a feat. I look forward to stalking your account more completely at some point. :)

[Laura Lynn]

It sounds like the persona really cares to be glad to call her your best friend. I'm sure this person would be reciprocated. I see sympathy, there is much work to be done by which we must feel capable enough with someone to confide in at least so that we may be able to proceed and figure out what it is we are meant for, why it just takes a little patience and humility, we can only read so much at one time, one book or page at a time, rushing through it is not necessarily the answer, though one may read looking for something in particular or just to see what is there; there is a lot there,

[ms. barrie]

this is amazing, very poignant and i love how you delved into the main character's emotions/feelings, gave her "life" -- very relatable -- at times no matter what age, due to past experiences, with others,
we can have a tendency to become our own worst enemy, where the mind tries to desperately seek
a new, positive perceptiveness upon the circumstances of their life...yet is too paralyzed in that state they're feeling. anyhow... the ending is brilliant, conveying a sympathetic, loyal friend or perhaps the main character themselves...very clever. one teeny suggestion no biggie but perhaps enlarge the font it's a bit tiny. other wise, great job. thanks for sharing :)