Cooking With Shakespeare

A new take on an old sonnet

 

Sonnet 130 mk.II

My mistress' pies are nothing like her buns;
Ovens bring far more dread than garlic bread;
If icing’s white, why then her cakes are dun;
Her meals; on fire more oft’ then they are fed.
I have known soups that are a pleasing sight,
But no such pleasure have I, from her Leeks;
And in some gravy is there more delight
Than in the muck that from her saucepan reeks.
I love to watch her bake, yet well I know
That ‘takeout’ hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw an expert go;
My mistress, when she cooks - more lost than found.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As steak kept from her fry pan in despair.

Reviews

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Fabulous! Oh I can't find words to express how much I enjoyed this. You nailed the language, the traditional symbols, the style... it was so well-done I'm in amazement. "the muck that from my mistress reeks." - spectacularly classic! I'm not likely to forget that one anytime soon. "never saw an expert go" - meaning suave guys dont need hookers?!? That's so well written. The whole thing is so well written! What is the significance of 130? Your 130 or should I go refer to Shakespeare's? Great ending too!