The Storm Part II

another lyrical-type poem, I know it's not perfect but it was a quick first draft I wrote tonight.

Rapturous rumbles chilled out with bullshit I say.
Love pours a different rain on me every day.
We sat in the hallway, smiled into each other’s’ eyes.
We didn’t make a sound.
Feeling what we lost, for no good reason why.
That’s when the storm came around.

We’re here in the summer of our evergreen lives
yet it’s five in the morning and the sun will not rise.
I’m losing you and the clouds roll on out;
everything ended too fast.
Present days darken and the thundering’s loud.
That’s the storm fading into the past.

What have you done today more important than me?
Did you have lies to make up and no one to see?
I held you and asked you if we were all right;
your touch said ‘I love you’, your eyes said you lied.
You didn’t make a sound.
Knowing I’ve lost, and the same reasons why.
That’s when our storm dried out. 

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

These lines are still holding onto me:

"yet it’s five in the morning and the sun will not rise.
I’m losing you and the clouds roll on out;"

"your touch said ‘I love you’, your eyes said you lied."

[TheJordBaker]

thank you :) I'm glad it had an effect.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

:)

[...]

This is amazing! I absolutely love the words you have chosen to express this work of art!

[TheJordBaker]

thanks!! means a lot :)

[afra]

i think its perfect ....well done

[TheJordBaker]

aw thank you!!

[Brandon Mathis]

wow...what a great poem. I really like it keep it up man!!

[TheJordBaker]

thanks so much man :D

[Brandon Mathis]

your welcome