Miles

Wrote this a long time ago on a train home and didn't take time crafting it because I felt leaving it raw was appropriate. Not a strong piece but found it and thought I'd upload it.

So many souls in the window reflection
I sit and watch them for a while.
Different faces, different lives but we’re all
headed in the same direction.
The brunette wants attention, she gives me a smile.
I raise one too.
We look at our windows, feel disconnected;
Sober journey came too soon.
The redhead reads her diary to be in her own world.
Everyone has their stories.
A carriage of broken hearted boys and girls,
But we’re living what we wanted.
As she gets up, he moves so he can put his feet up.
She moves ghostly to the doors, this thing is haunted.

I always say I’ve got to look at something
but keep changing focus so I’m not always staring.
Packed together but so alone
and we have miles to go before we sleep.

And I’m so far from home.

And I’m so far from not caring.

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

You have real heart--the last line confirms this very well.

[TheJordBaker]

thanks again :)

[Brandon Mathis]

the ending brings it all together nicely written

[TheJordBaker]

thanks

[afra]

very deep and powerful ....well done

[TheJordBaker]

thanks

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I think it is a strong piece. You capture the loneliness and isolation that we can feel even in a crowd. The feelings of going home and the anticipation/anxiety while traveling come through as well.

[TheJordBaker]

thank you :)