Ashes From The Sky

As the snow begins to fall
just like ashes from the sky
there is silence on the moors
and the hills run red on white.
For the love which she recalls
my sweet swan begins to cry.

And the humming on the lake
is tears from her gorgeous eyes
and the pattering they make
just like diamonds from the sky
landing softly with the flakes
as my swan begins to cry.

As my hands begin to freeze
in that way which I despise
crystals drip down from the trees
and they crack the tender ice.
My heart breaks the winter breeze
as my swan so gently cries. 

Reviews

[Mia]

Firstly...my brother was on here...stalking me and he read my poems and their reviews and then he stalked the reviewers...he phoned me to tell me how much he loved "Gabriel"...we're a family that knows talent!!

"For the love which she recalls
my sweet swan begins to cry"

I love that, so much beauty in 12 words :D
This is like a sad song. Swans mate for life (mostly) so it leaves me thinking that something unbearable happened that stopped two people from being together...still in love...just unable to make it past said thing. The 'swan' will love you forever. Like a first love, you'll always love them best. They showed you what being in love was. You give me your whole heart...no holding back, no fear...no heart break to make you cautious.

"My heart breaks the winter breeze
as my swan so gently cries"

Oh my...breathe altering beauty this is. A beauty that make the sadness easy to read. Ah JB!! I loved it...it spoke to me!

[TheJordBaker]

what a lovely review!! I never tire of people saying they like my work so thank your brother for me :) lol. As always your kind words have made my day!!

[Mia]

I will with pleasure and as always it was a delight to read :D

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

*Claps* very emotional,elegant and well-pinned
you have quite a muse, man!
hats up!

[TheJordBaker]

thank you

[spiritwind]

the cold permeates these verses making me shiver and glance outside the windows expecting to see snow blanketing the hills and snow softly falling still
the swans do mate for life--try to introduce a new female after a year or two and the male tries to kill her
best to leave the swan to mourn his empty pond
this is extraordinary writing and thank you so much for sharing it with us

[TheJordBaker]

wow, thank you very much :)

[Bluefire]

This is so beautiful and imaginative, I can't even begin to describe the beautiful images that this poem so gently played within my mind as I read it.
Great job! ^^

[TheJordBaker]

thank you so much :)

[Bluefire]

No problem. :3

[Marissa Brazzell]

i love it. good job.

[TheJordBaker]

thank you

[.]

Beautiful work ,Jordan. I love how the imagery conjoins with the mournful tone. Great job

[TheJordBaker]

thanks Cord

[Lost in Wonderland]

So beautiful and sad. Lovely poem..

[TheJordBaker]

thank you :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is so mournful---a really well written lament.

should be "And the humming on the lake/ is tears from her gorgeous eyes"

but yes. quite beautiful.

[TheJordBaker]

oops, thanks for pointing that out.
and thanks for your kind words.