Arcadia

Seven golden hill tops lie sleeping in snow,
it patters the pavements and rattles the roads.
Rain rusts the gold but washes the snow away,
it’s where sins are soaked but where demons play.
Precious pure world where we vice yet thrive
and we speak of valour and we gamble life.
Great green forest spreads with bewitching song
but in the shadowed shade the melody is gone.
Deep in its dark monsters move and the rascals roam.
They take away the dreams and future we’ve known.
With eyes so deep and their jagged claws
they can make blood flow from hill to shore.

Seven golden hilltops lie gasping in blood,
it caters the beasts and starves the good.
Rain rinses the gold but spreads the red for miles,
it gives the oceans a sanguinary style. 

Reviews

[lMarling]

I usually don't enjoy perfectly rhymed poems like this - but this was great. The rhymes weren't cheesy or forced.

Only suggestion is regarding the last line, the flow breaks a little. Try "giving the ocean a sanguinary style" or adding a word or two to the line.

Good job! keep it up!

[TheJordBaker]

thanks very much, I appreciate it :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i barely noticed the rhyme...which for me is a good thing because i am not fond of rhyming poems, usually.

but this is exceptional...subtle rhythm...love the use of "vice" as a verb.

love the clash of gold and red...the valued bleeding out.

nicely done, my friend.

jacob

[TheJordBaker]

Thanks as always Jacob my friend.