Sunflower

Did I see me in the window in the corner
of my eye?
Was I the light on the wall I thought I saw
passing us by?
Like a dead star mortal in the night,
once on fire?
Was it a day in September it came to note,
for months I a trier?
Sown from nothing some years ago
you helped my to try.

Yesterday's words still hold up today,
numb in the morning, still after tide.
Almost a year passes fine,
fading in darkness, I wilt,
and drift in the light.
Sickness in my stomach
and death wish to mind.
Sown from nothing in winter months,
flowered in July.

Author's Note

Written a few weeks ago, in response to growing a garden adjacent to my recent struggles. As with a lot written over recent years I haven't worked on the piece as I previously would so I'm looking for good parts to keep and potential to develop on.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

I particularly like the second stanza here and the feelings your lines have given me. I felt the contrast between the flowering of the sunflower in July,grown from a seed and the struggle of life which also would have started from a seed. One welcome, the other not so. That's where your lines took me.

Chris

[TheJordBaker]

Thanks Chris

[Dexter-black]

Really good sis. Real good.

[TheJordBaker]

Thanks a lot

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a garden of self...and of self=loathing...and the plants are dying in the garden...
last line in first stanza i read as "you helped me to try"

but we leave a light as poets..some enlightenment we hope for others to get when they read us...stars are dead when we see them..it is the afterglow that we see.
I like this...it is a thought provoking piece.
j.

[TheJordBaker]

Thank you Jacob, always appreciated. I'm glad it provokes thought and imagery for interpretation.

[Fran Marie]

Sunflowers stand tall until winters harsh call..such is the same many times with life's struggles .yet. hope and good times ..perhaps will bloom again..

Nice work here Jordan

[TheJordBaker]

Thank you :)

[lightsong]

You write with passion, You have an amazing flow, after reading Your note, this poem is just very dear, reread it again and it felt perfect, You made us reading as if it were us whom were there living Your moments, You have a powerful opening, the only thing that I see using "in" twice,

"Did I see me in the window in the corner
of my eye?"

maybe it would be better like this?

"Did I see me in the window at the corner
of my eye?"

anyway, this is such a moving piece, absolutely great and pleasurable to read, Thank You.

[TheJordBaker]

Thank you very much