One More Song

Meh...

It's hard to breathe because the air's so thick
It's so hard to believe; it makes me sick
You left too soon and now I'm on my own
It's been so long since I've been alone

 

The miles between us aren't so kind
I long to see those beautiful eyes
I'd rather be with you and be blind
Why is the world spinning now?

 

I'd fall to my knees if I had control
But my body's numb; it's took it's toll
If you came running back I'd swear it was a shame
Because I couldn't run to you and you'd be the one to blame

 

Rip my heart from my chest and stomp on it
I know that isn't what you planned on doing
But you've hurt me more than you could ever know
The clock has never ever ticked so slow

 

I know paying the bills is a neccesity
With your guitar and your voice you hold the key
To a million hearts that would give anything to be
The person that you claim me to be, you see

 

They scream your name and cry over you
To me you dedicate a song or two
But a song is just not the same
When you can't be here to sing my name

 

I know you're living out your dream
And I promise that I'm proud of you
But it's hard to know that you won't be here
And not coming back is my biggest fear

 

The fame and fortune might be more important than me
You'll throw me to the side and quit calling me 'baby'
Before you do promise me one more thing to get along
Please sing to me just one more song

Author's Note

This just kind of popped into my head while listening to Hey There Delilah by The Plain White T's. I'm not too proud of it but whatever.

Reviews

[spiritwind]

It had more to it than I thought it would when I started reading what I thought was another you-done-me-wrong song. But as you came toward the ending you let us see a heart yearning, a heart forgiving, a heart fearing and I respected that heart--it was more than its pain
don't disparage this poem of yours, it has a tender validity

[Kelsey]

Wow, this is quite beautiful. I never would've thought it was based on a song because of so many feelings - I felt like you actually went through the situation, and that's certainly a compliment. You did a lovely job with this and I really enjoyed reading it.

[Captain]

The fluctuation in mood can be hard to follow sometimes, but is over all good and I like how it tells a story, but I think some more consistency in your rhyming pattern would make it more fluent.
'Captain

[Aehr]

awww!! Lydia, super aww!!

I see that this one is from the girl's point of view in 'Hey There Delilah'. I am in love with that song, and with this piece too! I can't tell you how amazing this is. No words made to describe such awesomeness!!

Shelving it!!
:)

[Lydia]

Thanks! I was kind of thinking the same thing about it seeming like it's in the girls' point of view from the song. I actually didn't even get the idea until after I wrote it, though. H

[Krista Weiss]

Ohh my gosh!! I absolutely love this!! This is one of my new favorites and it exactly what I needed today!! :) < 3

[Lydia]

Thank you so much!

[Sophie]

I really like this! how can you not?! I love the last stanza so much you don't even know. It flows well and like how it doesn't have a specific rhyme scheme. Keep it up! I love your writing!

[Lydia]

Thanks so much, but I love yours more!

[Stargirl]

Truly remarkable! Well Done!

[Dark and Mysterious]

How can you not be proud of this!! It's amazing!! I cried after reading it...

[Lydia]

Thanks!

[AleyshaRosa]

You should be proud of it, it`s fantastic. The flow is nice, and even though I'm the worst at making lyrics glide into a song, I almost sang this poem to myself while I read it.
Does have a Hey There Delililah hitch to it =P Good thing though
Koodoos

[Lydia]

I kind of want it to be a song, and thanks!