Fade

Carry me away from the world where I reside
Save me today and lead me into your paradise
Speak to me softly, hold my hand and keep me strong
I'm nearly off the edge, I can only do it by myself for so long

 

Look into my eyes and tell me that I'm the one
Who you'll escort into the warm embrace of the sun
Whisper words of encouragement, and show me that you care
Because I can tell when you're not sincere, so many times I've been there

 

Wrap your arms around me and hold me close
I'm scared of the outside, and I'm ready to let go
Of the past that haunts every corner of our minds
Take me with you please, and guide me to the light

 

The intertwining of our fingers gives me a sense of comfort
It silences the hateful words, and numbs all my hurt
You're guiding me forward, and I'm smiling like a fool
Look at us now, the burning fire has been cooled

 

Were only a short distance from our safe destination
My mind can hardly comprehend that it's out forever home, not just a vacation
A squeal rumbles in my throat as we approach our new start
Can you believe that of this peaceful place we will be a part?

 

But wait! My safe haven is fading before our eyes
No, honey, you're fading too! Don't drop my hand and leave me behind
I was so close, but once again it was only a mirage. It was never true,
And oh how it kills me, Sweetheart, but neither were you.

 

Reviews

[closed]

Nice. I like the elusive nature of this work, not to mention the deceptive pull towards the end^


-Dream

[Ecko]

The last sentence, though a fairly easy rhyme, is how I would like to see the rest of this poem written. The rhyme and rhythm flowed perfectly, but I saw a little too much "forced rhyming" throughout the rest. I love the metaphors, and I see loads of potential for you still :)

[None]

Wow. I love the redemption of the first two stanzas, but three I am beginning to think this is too good to be true, and then boom, four and it's all gone. I wonder if you could make four a little stronger.

Again, the aesthetic flow of this is perfect. Play with the title. I feel like it could say more. This piece doesn't fade. It builds in love that is ripped away suddenly at the end. It's desperate. There is pain and almost insanity for the peace of healing.

I love this. The first two stanzas are so true and pure. Their words go straight to the heart. Try and find a way to maintain this in the next two stanzas by undoing the first two in the same way.

Great piece. Can't wait to see more.

[Max Hernz]

This touches close to home. Makes me a little sad.

[.]

Beautiful poem, i love the last part, very well written xxx thanks for sharing xx

[Kes]

I love the last line! It leaves me asking if he was never truthful, or if he was never real at all. I love it.
The whole poem is a stunner.
Great work.
K

[eeoopig]

nicely written. I life the last part, how it goes it was never true.....but neither were you. It sums it up well, good job

[Sophie]

The last stanza... just omg. I loved this, great, great write!

[that-little-green-monst..]

Beautifully written. I really love this poem. I love the last stanza! Great job!

[just is]

This is so wonderful and beuatiful. Really enjoyed this