Sayonara

You've build up dreams under the starry night sky until farewell comes.

Together

Two hands intertwined.

Hearts beating in one rhythm

Under the starry night sky.

Smile

A shade of pink brushing those pallid cheeks;

Walking along the honey-colored lane

With the gentle wind caressing their skin.

Laugh

Promises borne from the blue stars above;

From afar, a lone comet disappears

Together with it were silent wishes and prayers.

Fading

All of it seemed distant dreams;

Melting into the light of day

A faint voice whispering, "Sayonara."

-TheMalady

Author's Note

Hi! I just wanted to write down something about today. This one's a bit melancholic. Any feed backs? Anyone who can relate to this one? I'd be very happy for any thoughts. :)

Reviews

[BThomvanWart]

To be honest, being an anime nerd, I can't help but picture this in the ways many anime portray similar situations! I liked this piece; it's adorable and honest. We all dream and make dreams with others, but sometimes those dreams don't reach fulfillment because a good-bye had happened. Distance is funny, it's the one thing that can take a dream that's been carefully crafted and cause it to become unraveled. Nice work, Mal!

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot, BThomvanWart! I'm glad that it left that kind of impression to you. I really appreciate your time for reading this work and yes! This is indeed inspired from my years of watching anime and reading manga. haha :D

[BThomvanWart]

That's awesome! I love it that much more! Haha. You're welcome! I'm glad I could stop by and check out your work~

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot! I'll stop by to yours and check your awesome write-ups as well! :)

[Emily]

Love it!!
One of my new favorites!
Keep on writing!

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot, Emily! I'm very happy to know that this is one of your favorites. Thanks a lot! It means a lot to me! :)

[Emily]

Your welcome! :)

[Deanna M.]

This poem was really good!! I enjoyed reading each stanza, and I liked how for each stanza you put a word to describe what the stanza was about. Then you went to describe what the title for each stanza meant. I like that about your poems. They're all so unique.

[TheMalady]

Ah geez... Thanks a lot for that! Your words are so special and it makes my heart warm. Thanks a lot for reading this! >_

[andrew mitchell]

A great concept I enjoyed this clever piece, each stanza was one of poetry in true flowing form. Loved the imagery of the smile and the fading

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot! I am so happy that you enjoyed this one. Your review is an encouragement for me. :)

[Blackheart]

I really love how you use one word firstly and then enhance your writings in the next paragraphs which concentrate on that particular word. Loved this concept!

Beautifully penned and really melancholy. Made me smile. :)

[TheMalady]

Aw... Thanks a lot! I am very glad that you love this one. Your review is warming my heart. Thank you very much! :)

[Zyle Christian William ..]

I love your use of color in poetry! And I love the imagery you conjure with...

a lone comet disappears
Together with it were silent wishes and prayers.

This really hits me, shooting stars are a special part of who I am and what I believe and I could definitely relate to this! Thank you for sharing, TheMalady!

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot for reading! I'm quite glad that it hit you. Ha-ha, and I love shooting stars. I just felt writing it down. :) Thanks again for reading! :)

[Zyle Christian William Cook]

No problemo!

[Lalochezia]

Yes, it is melancholic but for some reason it left me feeling at peace. Perhaps it is due to your gentle phrasing - good job!
I found a few errors:
In the 1st stanza it sounds as if the HANDS are beating in one rhythm, which sounds a little odd.
pallor cheeks → PALLID cheeks
from a far → from AFAR

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot, Lalochezia! It really is a bit odd, anyway I'll try to work this out. I'm very happy that you like this one. :)

[Mary Helda]

Very heartbreaking so..but you did justice to it..very well done:-)

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot for reading! I truly appreciate it. Ha-ha, yeah, I guess justice was served. :)

[Mary Helda]

haha:-)..yes of course,justice was served

[TheMalady]

thanks a lot again ;)

[TheMalady]

thanks a lot again ;)

[Mary Helda]

you are welcome:-)

[zunie frost]

I love the second last stanza . It have a soft touch ! Lovely write

[TheMalady]

Aw... Thanks a lot for loving this one. I'm very flattered of your praise. :) Thanks a lot!

[zunie frost]

You are very kind !!

[Lola Nad]

very nice one. I'm pretty sure anyone can relate to it one way or another. well done :)

[TheMalady]

Thank you very much, Black Rose! I'm very glad that you can relate to this one. :)
thanks again! :)

[ExquisiteEyes]

Beautiful!!!
The soft tone of the poem brought back so many memories. The worst part about saying goodbye is that instant when you realize all the time has passed away and still so many thoughts are yet to be exchanged.
I imagine this scene to be a part of a long distance relationship.

[TheMalady]

Geez... thanks a lot for the kind praise. I truly appreciate it. I'm very happy that you like this. Thank you very much! :)