The Days

I have hated myself
But never like this
Everything is so wrong
It makes me sick.

The result of it
Helps me survive
But I am not living
And I'd much rather die.

I numb myself every time,
But afterwards
I'm left dirty and trying,
Lost inside and crying.

Slipping through mud
And dirt
The end goal when I get home
Is to stop the hurt.

Author's Note

I don't know if its done. I dont know if I'm done. I kind of want to switch some of the paragraphs. Kinda wanna djsallear.sorry for the shitty quality.

Reviews

[Jessica]

It's hard when people leave, but we hope that they do well. People stumble, but it's how we respond to to the stumbles

[t.m.]

And how do you respond to the stumbles?

[Jessica]

I ask for help and pick myself up again. It can take awhile, but it's worth it

[t.m.]

And what do you do when your people leave and let you know they stumbled?

[Jessica]

I try to tell them it's OK. Stumbles happen. And that we still care about them. No one is perfect.

[Jessica]

Finally posted a new poem btw

[t.m.]

But what happens when they feel judged? And like they let you down?

[Jessica]

They could never let me down. I believe in them. I don't judge them no matter what.

[t.m.]

You must be a saint.

[Jessica]

Nope, i have my own stumbles as well. I just hope they do well

[t.m.]

Your job sounds taxing.

[Jessica]

But it's rewarding

[t.m.]

So is safety.

[Jessica]

Like talk to those who help. At my job I always tell people to call especially when I work an overnight like I do tonight lol

[t.m.]

You work overbights? That must be difficult. Especially when you warm partial evenings

[t.m.]

And talkig t who

[Jessica]

Yep, I worked part of the evening shift and all of the overnight. So, I tell people to call whenever because it helps keep me awake.

[t.m.]

Thsts what thy desibed caffeine flr

[t.m.]

Who calls anyway?

[Jessica]

Past clients sometimes call. People who want to talk. Ive had some of my best conversations with clients on overnights. Also, I have a giant red bull lol.

[t.m.]

Be careful with red bull. And I wonder if past clients wish they'd met you somewhere else so that you could've been friends. But who would want be friends with someone who put a flag in a tree? Nobody. That's who.

[Jessica]

That flag made other people smile

[t.m.]

That still didn't answer my question.

[Jessica]

Yes other clients have told me that

[Jessica]

I've had worse jobs lol

[t.m.]

But safe ones are better.

[Jessica]

All jobs can be dangerous

[t.m.]

Safer jobs are better.

[Jessica]

Ok, you win.

[t.m.]

I always do.

[Jessica]

Damn your right lol

[t.m.]

I know. It's one of my most hateable qualities. Other than holding people up from leaving work because I'm stupid sometimes.

[Jessica]

When did you hold someone up? I had to wait for someone to come take their meds tonight. Took forever

[t.m.]

I held someone up on the phone. But I also went to Walgreen's.

[Jessica]

Well that's good

[t.m.]

I don't think I did it right, though.

[Jessica]

It's not s****y and you shouldn't disappear. Keep writing and talking.