In Half

She moves her fingers across the keys
Writing a symphony
For the girl who walks the stars
On them drawing hearts.
She's got them all mapped out on a chart
To follow
Even though she's seen the stars break
And tear apart.
She's trying to catch up,
Her biggest fear that she never will,
And the girl laughs from her stars,
Safe from the pain and scars on
The star that was caught
In half.

Author's Note

I hate this and I want to redo it because someone else deserves to walk on stars drawing hearts and not blowing them up.

Reviews

[Emily]

I love this!
Especially how you start it!
Keep it up!

[Jessica]

I like this one. Who is "she"

[t.m.]

Someone who didn't deserve to walk the stars and draw hearts. Read the author note

[Jessica]

But you do deserve it

[t.m.]

I'm not the one walking on the stars

[Tsubaki Kuro]

I think that this poem is good. Never hate your work, well unless it is really, really bad.

[t.m.]

I always hate my work. Just this one kills me because it should be, as I said in the author note, someone else deserving the stars.

[Autonomous]

The wording of the 3rd and fourth line seems a bit off maybe if you rephrase, other than that I liked it, its a great poem and you shouldn't hate it.

[t.m.]

It's a different style, as in she walks on the stars drawing hearts on them. Thank you for your feedback! I always appreciate it. :)

[Autonomous]

Oh ok I understand what you meant now.