in the alley

His long dark cloak

He, the absence of light

His shadow broken only by the ember

    of his cigarette

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

It seems we are kin... he and I.....my silhouette only shines by the moon.

[Sami Khalil]

You have created great mind imagery in the alley with few lines. Excellent...:).......

[highonwords]

there is this understated foreboding in this poem...in so few words you have created a fine image of someone in a dark alley...thank you for sharing :)

[highonwords]

there is this understated foreboding in this poem...in so few words you have created a fine image of someone in a dark alley...thank you for sharing :)

[m.s.early]

(: thank you so much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A interesting poem. I like the dark feel to the poem. You did very well using so few words to create vision and danger. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[m.s.early]

(: Thanks Coyote :)

[Mockingbird]

'he himself the absence of light' ...i picture a vampire gentleman in a foggy 19th century english alley waiting to seduce a lady. exquisite imagery. i always say that, don't i? but you really are the master of imagery.

[m.s.early]

Thank you. I was hesitant over that line. I almost thought it was immature and had thought about editing it.

My intention was to note that the absence of light was not just the alley, but his character, his soul.

[Jack...]

Almost like the opening to a Mickey Spillane novel. Very cool my friend.

[m.s.early]

(: Thank you Jack :)

[justjenn_2u]

4 lines which are confounding. Mostly I see a dark person who is but just a mystery. Simple piece which spells out loneliness. I like it.

[m.s.early]

(: Thank you Jen :)

[David Scott]

Now this is an A.
Not typical. Visual in many ways.
I like the thought of and ember breaking the shadow here.
I like reading this without the last "His". Just starting the line with "Shadow" works very well I think.
Love this one!

[m.s.early]

(: Thank you David :)