over

my grandfather's final moments

your breathing had the grace of a grand mal,

gagging, swallowing your tongue;

barely whispering and choked,

fighting and losing.

then your eyes rolled back

and i heard your lungs empty,

the essence that made you divine

was a wisp, hovered above you, 

left us crying,

your mouth still open.

she came as if she'd been waiting,

she never looked at us,

"he's gone", i heard her say.

i remember how my eyes felt 

following her as she went to you.

her fingers touched your eye lids

and closed them forever.

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'over'
m.s.early,
The title gives this poem credence for the final precious moments of your grandpa's life. I found it a sharing with respect. He tried to live right to the end even when it was no longer fitting and his time had come he was swept away with a certainty which left no doubt. The deep vulnerability of such a personal family time is difficult to take as I know that no one escapes life's end. I truly appreciate this portrayal this window into what you felt and saw and knew as you said goodbye to someone so loved. Poems like this hurt but I suppose that I wonder what it will be like to be with someone at the end. Thank you so very much for writing this. I realize that only time will bring the stages of hurt to soften and the memories of loving relationship are your continued golden rays of sunshine that no one can take away.
Blessings,
Kathy

[m.s.early]

Thank you for this beautiful review. I think you gathered everything I hoped to project. You made it worth it.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Thanks for your ready response. It is good to know that I wasn't confused about your meaning. Bless you in the coming days. Kathy

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

The drums are beating ... I unravel in moments...my hawks eyes cannot see yesterdays...Im thankful my memories are in tomorrows...Breathe deep abounding soul...breathe deep..

[lost girl]

They told us that we should be there at the end. That we wouldn't want to miss the final breath. If I had known...I would have walked away. My faith almost killed me. Death is so hard for those still living...It often takes you to a battlefield with self. They say it makes you stronger...but I still don't know....It's a great poem..on a very hard cold matter. My sympathies for your loss.

[m.s.early]

Thank you for reviewing, LG. I certainly appreciate your thoughts...

[Delmar Cooper]

Had I not recently experienced almost exactly what you describe in your poem, your poem would have prepared me for the experience.

No, it wouldn't really. Still I appreciate your words. They are universal.

[m.s.early]

Loss is temporary, a closing of a chapter, but not the book. The spirit is liberated from the flesh and released into eternity.

Thank you for words. I pray you find comfort during this time.

[s y e]

This is so sad, I can really relate to this one. Your description is amazing, really bittersweet and sad.

[m.s.early]

Thank you. It certainly was. I adored him. He is still my hero :)

[s y e]

I know exactly how you feel. It is hard when they leave us, especially when they are still young.

[highonwords]

there is a quiet grace to this poem, describing dying and a brief note to the ones left behind. thank you for sharing :)

[m.s.early]

(: thank you letterhead :) or can I call you letter? ;)

[lee von cleef]

Full Bloom, we lose, we share and the physical acts haunt our memory compass, a good sketch of time that will remain, now that you have sent the thoughts in motion.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you lee :)

[Lyn Anderson]

The beginning could be something much different, and then it circles around to the grief. What an amazing piece, and at once, filled with real pain. A beautiful, heartfelt write.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you kl :)

[Frieda P]

Heart wrenching read. My heart goes out to you my friend.

[m.s.early]

Thank you Frieda.

[m.s.early]

(: Thank you again Frieda, your thoughts are always warm and encouraging :)

[Frieda P]

Sweet of you to say xavier :-) Always my pleasure.

[Ruth]

So sorry for your loss...the poem is moving and voiced with heartfelt flow. Loss is not easy but they remain in our hearts x

[m.s.early]

(: thank you poppy :)