i saw a barren world on the stones of Afghanistan

i saw a barren world on the stones of Afghanistan,
the sand capped mountains rose without life, without breath
but not gasping,
nor dying,
nor alive
endlessly for miles in every direction

a river to the east,
green and uninviting,
an empty, hopeless dream
cutting between the ledges
eating away at a worthless promise
there are no new tomorrows

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

The knowledge of the world changes a man's sights and powerfully enough can change his heart. I long for all man to travel outside their boxes...to see what the privileged do not and the oppressed live to die for daily......we all need new destinies for tomorrows......

[barleygirl]

I love this poem. It's so original & thought-provoking. This description could refer to many places on this planet. It could also describe how a person may feel on the inside. But the fact that you use Afghanistan seems significant to me. I am horrified at how long this war has gone on, so I'm already open to such a message that paints this scene with severe hopelessness. Besides this real-life assessment, there's also that other thing you bring up . . . how barren all the picture of Afghanistan seem . . . adding to the barren mystique of this never-ending battleground. I love the way this is written to express such a variety of possibilities, all stated with palpable barren feelings (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[m.s.early]

Your reaction is a blessing to me. Thank you so much for your thoughts.

[Amit]

The portrait of the whole scenario is beautiful...

[Chris Shaw]

Very descriptive account of how Afghanistan looks to the author and how the future promises nothing. Well expressed.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

Excellent use of imagery paints a vivid picture of a strange and foreign land. I may be interpreting the second verse incorrectly, but it seems to make a comment on the the US commitment in our longest war. Both moving and thought provoking. Well done.

PS: any kin to Jubal?

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of description my friend. You made the reader see your thoughts. I saw quiet and dead land too. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote