A Heartbeat For You

Do you remember?
In a dream you and I were together.
You held my hand and whispered softly
tender words only for my ears.

You were mine and I were yours,
and nothing else mattered.
We were in love
in a yesterday, a distant dream.

A dream within a dream.
Do you remember?
Yesterday is gone.
Let me steal a heartbeat for you.

I want you to remember.

Reviews

[abbypullanlitandpoetry]

This poem has a really beautiful, dreamy quality that captures that bittersweet feeling of lost love perfectly - it's giving major Christina Rossetti "Remember" vibes with that haunting repetition and the way it pleads with memory. I also love the line "Let me steal a heartbeat for you" - it's such a tender, desperate image that really shows the speaker's desire to hold onto these precious moments.
The main thing I'd work on is expanding some of the imagery and emotions. Lines like "tender words only for my ears" could be more specific - what kind of words? What did they sound like? The poem has this lovely foundation of yearning, but it could benefit from more concrete details that help readers feel exactly what you felt in that dream. Maybe describe the setting, or what the person's hand felt like, or what made yesterday feel so perfect.
There's also some awkward phrasing like "I were yours" that could be smoothed out - "I was yours" would flow better. But honestly, the emotional core here is really touching and that wistful, dreamlike atmosphere you've created is exactly what makes a love poem memorable. The foundation is solid and the feeling is genuine, which is what matters most.

[.]

beautiful..tender and charming..

[Adelia Alighieri]

Looks like an amalgamation of good music but stands original. Well done!

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

beautifully melancholy stroll in rewind~

[My Fair Lady]

What a lovely way to put that..

"Let me steal a heartbeat for you.
I want you to remember."
Incredible.