One Song, Glory

Yes, the title is stolen from the song out of 'Rent'. Don't talk to me about it.

One song, glory. That's what he says... just one song and it can be achieved, or at least the memory can. I have no memories, nothing to achieve, nothing within reaching distance. I read stories about love lost and gained, about women like myself growing into something beautiful and finding something that makes their heart sing: a person who completes them. I've read about it. I've heard about it. I've watched it happen.

Never once has it happened to me.

I thought I loved a boy once, but how could I? I was twelve then, too young to comprehend the idea. I thought I loved a boy just six months ago and I still haven't been able to decipher if that was true or yet another lie to myself. I cared very much to him, that I know. I ached for him very badly but he could never bring himself to love me. Not after her... her elegance, her grace, her pale skin and ebony hair and her hard, cold loving.

He always was a masochist. Then again, so am I. I don't know if that would make us perfect lovers or perfect enemies. I've never known much when it comes to him.

I want to love so badly. I want to know what it's like; I want to take it into myself and feel deeply, completely, instead of taking these bitter snatches at the life I currently have. It's so painful to know you're ignorant and cannot help it, and I am terribly ignorant.

Time flies and time dies. That's what he says, and I know it's true. The more you live the faster you die... do I want a long life or an exciting one? Should I have to choose? If my heart must continue aching like it does, I want my life to be as short as possible.

I don't know if I could bear dying without knowing love. I don't know if I could bear it; I don't know how others bore it.

It certainly would be tragic...

Reviews

[NCPanthersgurl]

Love is definitely hard to find, but you're an amazing person Snyder. I know you'll find love. And sometimes the longer it takes to find the more you appreciate it when you find it.

Nice piece, and I most definitely love the RENT tie-in's. =]