A Day Away, A Life Apart

Dedicated to the love of my life. We must wait to touch hands, but I can still feel your touch, even though distance built an immense wall between us.

A sheet of glass fell upon the world,

Showing what's above and beyond

Though the truth has been temporarily furled

A spark of light has been spawned

You saw that light, and you came close

To feel it's dangerous heat

It burst into the fallen sky and exposed

A love that can never be beat

'A day away, my love,'

Distance did say to we;

But a lifetime was what we heard of

Before you could ever reach out to me

In the darkest nights, I saw your light

So I stumbled ever so close

Then our hands touched, and the moon shone bright

And we stayed there until the sun rose

A coat of lies fell into our eyes,

And for a moment, the truth was broken

But we noticed the mistake in the skies

And the three words from before were spoken

The seraphs watched in astonishment

With their eyes all shining blue;

They knew that no kind of abolishment

Could make me stop loving you

'A day away, my love,'

Distance did say to we;

But a lifetime was what we heard of

Before you could ever reach out to me

In the darkest nights, I saw your light

So I stumbled ever so close

Then our hands touched, and the moon shone bright

And we stayed there until the sun rose

Time and distance will never break our hearts

For we are but a day away, a life apart

Author's Note

Thank you A Scribbler Named Bek for the suggestion! If you see a mistake (misspelled words, incorrect grammar, etc), then please tell me. However, I am only a beginner, so please don't ask too much of me if there is something you don't particularly like. ^^"

Reviews

[Emily B]

The best if love alwaUs involves light, nice to read you

[iNSOMniAC]

Thanks. :3

[Gee]

Hi,enjoyed your poem and tend to agree with Bek.I write rhyming verse myself and find that if you read your own poem and tap out a beat to each line it helps to maintain a more consistent flow.(sounds daft but does work for me!)

[iNSOMniAC]

Thank you! ^-^

[Gee]

You're welcome

[A Scribbler Named Bek]

Beautiful :) Such a solemn tone but also oddly hopeful. I loved the last two lines a lot. If I could make a suggestion: the line in your refrain, "and for a day we stood there, froze" kind of gnawed at me when I read it because it's like saying 'we were froze' when its really meant to be 'frozen'. I know that you're going for a rhyming scheme in that part, but (and this is just opinion) I think it'd make more sense if the word was used with the right tense. Like 'and our hearts within us froze' or whatever. But maybe you like being an edgy writer :) I can appreciate that. All in all, great poem! Very bueno!

[iNSOMniAC]

Thank you. ^u^ Oh, yeah, I did have a little trouble coming up with that line. I think I like yours a lot better... is it alright if I use your suggestion? I'll be sure to give credit.

[A Scribbler Named Bek]

For sure, although you could totally come up with a better line than mine ;P I always get so mixed up with tenses that it probably isn't fair I get after everyone who does the same thing...I'm such a hypocrite....oh well :D

[iNSOMniAC]

xD Yeah, I know what that feels like. Thanks for the review and the suggestion!