An Apology to My Next Lover

Wanna clear the air in anticipation of you being here.
I've already thought about the ways I'm gonna
f**k this up. And I'm yet to see your face. Chronic worrier,
stumbling bumbler, farcically 'fraid of you
rejecting me. Comedic really.

Are you going to have the resolve to suffer through
the nerves which get old. Will you cling to me
through my misery which seems my only flower.
All my colours blue, petals wither oh too soon.
As I seem lost in truest moon.

You can take my mediocre beauty, my skinny jeans
and battered shoes, comfy jumpers - my whole demeanour,
with the stress I'm looking leaner, but would you
actively covet what's deep below
a manic mind in madness's flow.

For when I howl and shriek in pain,
do you have sense to cool my name
which spoken softly with tender kiss
could lift me out of this abyss.