Map of Pain

I got a map of pain stitched across my skin,
Every scar a story I buried deep within.
One job to the next, just to keep the lights on,
Didn’t chase dreams, just settled for safe,
Told myself “someday,” now it’s years too late.

Loved someone once; but I let her pass by,
Couldn’t find the words, don't know why.
So I laid with a stranger, heat but no spark,
Now I got regrets that howl in the night.
I don’t blame fate, don’t curse no name,
I made these choices; I built this long list of regrets.

We gather scars like stars in a sky gone cold,
Each one a fire that we let grow old.
No redemption, no light at the end,
Just learning to live where the broken men bend.

Stopped hitting the gym, stopped feeding my flame
Stopped reading, stopped dreaming, started hiding my name
Told myself “next week,” but it always stayed same
Now I drown in excuses, numb comfort, and shame.

You ever look in the mirror and not see a face?
Just a ledger of choices you can’t erase.
No happy endings, no epiphany glow,
Just the comfort of pain you’ve come to know.

Now I sleep light, dreams heavy with the cost,
Counting all the versions of myself I lost.
But I don’t cry, no more fight left to fake,
Some folks heal; me? I just bend, don’t break.

It’s not brave, it’s not wise, it just is,
I exist like a ghost in my own skin’s ribs.
You don’t move on, I just carry the weight,
Call it fate, or just call it too late.