The Darkness Within

Spiders clinging
Swaying in a wicked breeze
Life doesn't seem simple
Complicated lines
Come together
Tear apart
Each web decorated
with a single crimson jewel
Spiders sparkling with moonlight

I stand on a bluff
Overlooking this nightmarish valley
Seeing these spiders
Creeping along these endless lines
So like horrible webs
I scream
and scream
but no one hears
no one hears

Reviews

[C. Rose]

I am a fan of repetition.

I am unclear as to what the crimson jewel is. Blood, a red spider?

Never thought of sparkling spiders before. Nice original viewpoint. Not sure if it would be scarier to see the spiders in the moonlight or to not see them. Either way eerie.

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much.

[Aethereal]

This is an excellent free verse poem with a beautiful form, one that expresses one of the deep fears that all human beings have. Insects of prey remind us of ourselves. We’re the alpha predators at the top of the food chain. What we fear the most is that we may look in our bedroom mirror one morning and see ourselves as big bad spiders in reflection, an Existential Metamorphosis. Human beings always sanitize their behavior with silly euphemisms and masks. We always try to make believe that we’re something other then what we really need to be to take care of our necessities.

[Tina Kline]

Thank you very much.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes our minds are like a troubled web of confusion...this view from outside one's self...gives us great perspective...there is a sparkle...but it is like a false diamond.

i hear the scream.

this is so wonderfully dark.

jacob

[Tina Kline]

Thank you very much!

[genocide]

very good poem i like very well done

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much.

[genocide]

you're welcome i love being supportivie

[Wolf's Dark Song]

The lines with spiders crawling along them...waking nightmares holding us back, sicking, fear, and other frightful unknowns. Excellent write.

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much!

[Coyote Song]

A horrid nightmare, hopefully its only a nightmare.
Very chilling and gripping in a frightful way.

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much.

[Craig2591]

You found my weakness. I hate spiders!

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much.

[Black Cat Fever]

True nightmarish horror. Very vivid and stark.
Good writing.

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much.

[Black Cat Fever]

meow meow meow

[Star Wolf]

This is very chilling. it reads like a nightmare. I think you did a fantastic job on this.

[Tina Kline]

Thanks very much!