JEN

A young woman is lost and desperate after her husbands death.

     Jen wandered through the forest, seeking solace. Her heart was completely broken. Jonathan, her husband, had died just days ago and Jen felt like she couldn't keep going. Tears were clinging to her cheeks and as more joined them they ran down and fell from her face. The trees around her made soft shifting sounds as the wind rustled through their tops. Robins sang, their songs beautiful. But Jen didn't notice any of it. All she could think about was Jonathan. Jonathan her reason for living, Jonathan her life blood and her heart beat. Her best friend and lover. He was gone. She couldn't bare it. A sob escaped her as she held a shaking hand to her trembling lips.

     She continued walking through the forest. Somewhere close by a coyote yapped. The drumming sound of a woodpecker filled the forest around her. Small birds twittered from the tiny limbs in the bushes as she passed. Robins continued to sing. But Jen didn't notice any of this. She didn't notice the beauty of the forest around her nor the life existing within it. She felt dead. Her heart was dead. Her soul was dead. Her body was dead, at least she thought it felt close to it. Jen knew one thing, she couldn't continue living without her husband. Jonathan! Jonathan! Jonathan! She cried silently into the void all around her. Her silent cries rose up into the atmosphere and spread wide. Jonathan. Jen couldn't live without Jonathan.

      Jen entered a clearing beside a river. The waters roared by as they crashed over boulders in its downward journey to the ocean. Small gray dippers went under the water near boulders seeking small water life to eat. Jen didn't notice the tiny grey birds. Nor did she noticed the American eagle that soared overhead. The yapping coyote was closer now, a companion joining in, their song undulating across the forest. She didn't notice the warbling of the robins in the trees around her. The sun was hot, the afternoon increasing in warmth as Jen continued her blind wandering. Jen felt not the warmth at all, instead she felt cold deep inside her, like the cold of the dead.

     Jonathan! Oh Jonathan! Jen's heart continued breaking. The emotional pain was so powerful and overwhelming that it was physical. Jen collapsed to her knees on the forest floor, hung her head and wept. She felt so hopeless and helpless. She decided to die. There was no reason for her to live anymore. She would die and join Jonathan in death. The grave would not separate them. No, she would find Jonathan on the other side. The thought brought a sort of comfort and peacefulness to her. Yes, suicide.  Jen took a deep, calming breath. She sat on her butt and stuffed a trembling hand into her jean pocket and pulled out a bottle of prescription pills. They were Jonathan's. Medication that he had been taking. The only problem was she hadn't brought any water with her. She looked toward the river. She'd drink that water. It didn't matter if it made her sick because her mission now was to die.

     She sat and gazed at the river, holding Jonathan's prescription pill bottle in her hand. She shook the bottle a little and listened to the soft rattling of the pills inside. She smiled. Yes, Jonathan, I will be joining you. Nothing can keep me away. Our children will be okay with my parents.

     Jen got to her feet and headed for the river. A slight sob escaped her as she came to the edge and looked for a way down. There was a small pebble beach with a pathway that led down to it. Jen easily navigated down and stood a moment on the beach taking deep calming breaths and gazing about. She looked up. The soaring eagle was joined by another. They circled each other as they sailed high above the river, moving up river then back down again. The singing coyotes seemed just a few feet away now, hidden by some low growing shrubs. Jen felt so very alone.

      She got down on her knees at the river's edge and opened the pill bottle and set it beside her, balancing it against a small group of pebbles. Then she leaned forward to scoop some river water into her hand. She held her hand with the water in the palm close to her mouth and looked down at the pill bottle. A slight problem.  She had the water but not the pills in her other hand. She sighed.

     With her free hand she carefully reached for the bottle and managed to pick it up without losing the water in her other hand. She tilted her head back and holding the bottle, prepared to pour the pills into her mouth. A light flashed over the river startling her. She paused and looked up. A soft yet brilliant glow was shining down on the river. Catching her breath, Jen stood up and looked around. She wondered about the light. It seemed to be coming from the forest so she headed for the path that led back up the river bank. When she reached the top she saw the light shining down into the forest, illuminating the area in a soft shimmering glow. She moved to walk into the light and stood there letting it bathe her. A powerful sense of warmth and well being flooded her, she thought she heard music like angels singing. She moved in a circle, looking about her with awe. The whole forest around her was a glow with a most wonderful soothing light. Jen laughed. She didn't understand what was happening but she felt spellbound. Tears fell from her eyes, not tears of sadness but tears of wonder. Then she heard a voice, a voice she knew all too well.

      “Live Jen. Live. It's not your time. I will be here waiting for you. But live now. Live Jen. Know I love you. My love will never end. Live Jen. Live. I will be here waiting for you but live now, Jen, live now.”

     And she did just as Jonathan told her, knowing they would be together again.

Reviews

[Star Wolf]

A very heart wrenching story. It's very compelling all the way through as we read Jen's descent into suicidal despair. But her and Jonathan's love is powerful and he is there to save her from death. A very sweet, tender and happy ending! Awesome story!

[Eric Cox]

Very moving story. So sad. Glad she lived. Excellent pen on this story. Nicely done.

[Black Cat Fever]

A very tragic and heartbreaking story. The ending is still sad even though it is positive too.

[Wolf's Dark Song]

I was sure hoping Jen didn't die! Whew! A very engaging story full of tragic emotions. I'm glad for the happy ending. That Jen lives and that Jonathan was able to reach her from the other side to save her. Very readable and enjoyable story.