staring.

A poem about someone I know I'll never be able to have.

staring.

I stare at you in a way that’s too friendly,

in a way that makes my heart jump

and tickle.

You look right back in a way that’s just friendly enough

in a way that still makes my heart thump

and giggle.

I play it cool.

You’d never know

the feelings that I want to show.
I stare at you in a gaze

in a daze

Can you see?

And you return the favor

with dull brown eyes.
You don’t see.

But a heart does not surrender

and neither will my stare.

Reviews

[Aurora of Insight]

"You don't see." perfect directness. This poem has a great first impression.

[Kaden Sylvers]

wow, this is so raw and direct and heartfelt, I love the line "you look right back in a way that's just friendly enough", it percectly explains those moments of hopefullness where you think that maybe possibly there's a 2 % chance the person you love can love you back. Very well conveyed. I think it should end with "but a heart does not surrender"; the last line is a bit too forceful and the second to last line is stronger anyways and implies the last line.

[Zoe]

"And you return the favor
with dull brown eyes"

That hit me in the heart. powerful line.

[Rachelle]

Oh, so beautifully sad. I know how you feel, buddy. Just keep staring and maybe, just maybe, they'll open up their eyes and realize that what their looking for has been here all along. i love the line:

in a way that makes my heart jump
and tickle.

That is way too adorable!

[Rhonda]

i also agree with what wolfshrew said. this was awesome! keep up the good work!

[Jeannie Wilder]

I'm just here to reiterate what Wolfshrew said, because I feel exactly the same way!

[Hollywood]

Very well written, I like the play with the font. It's a cute poem, it's also very realatable to an audience. Bravo.

[Ali_Avery~7]

aww this is a really sweet one :}

[Nayan]

Nicely written! I liked this --- "But a heart does not surrender ... and neither will my stare."