Adoration of Self Hatred

not meant to be taken seriously except for me

Adoration of Self Hatred

Scratching and crawling my way into the apex of the highland

The rocks, the soil frictions my skin burning through layers of my flesh
The heat of the sun blinds my saddened eyes as it pours out of its eye sockets
Guts and gore spiraled out my f*****g stomach
an agonized yell of horror pleading for an end that may not come

I am free as the starry skies that beg of me to suffer from this endless slippery slope yet I am trapped in a cycle of self disdain and hatred from a mind that wont shut the f**k up

I wish for this to end I want to slip down from this rise as the blood of my body colors the earth

Slam violently on top of a razor edged stone that impales my skull through the back of my f*****g brain

Die in a worthless sense of honor I tried to prevail with my feeble attempt to make it victorious

Die with all the shame and the terror I witnessed in this horrid life

Oh when will it end, I so sorely wish for a paradise where I dont climb such a spiteful highland

Oh dear f*****g God it hurts why does it ache, why me?

Why must my mind speak dread

Why does my heart try to lead me astray

Why do my lips speak wicked words against me

Perchance i’m trying to hate myself for what brings more comfort than facing your a failure and to die violently with it

a senseless sacrifice brought upon my own very world, destined to put me through anxiety of worry and unease

Put me out of my misery I wish to sore with the eagles free of ascending in this ramp of red soil

I mean what difference will it make i’ll blow my f*****g brains anyway once I reach the top

My sheer wickedness of awkwardness would only scare the town folk

No one to love me, no one to caress me, all alone in a throne of skulls, its guts sprinkles through out the chair of those that belittled

My mistakes would haunt me for the rest of my dying days what difference would it make

I’m a vile human being with nothing left to lose what possibly do I have to give