Introduction

I hide in the bathroom during lunch, like always do at this time of day. It's what I do everyday, I don't eat, just hide. Hide like the coward I am, not wanting to face my bullies at all. The bell rings, great, fith hour here I come. At least my best friend will be there, and my Spanish teacher knows little of what I go through. With little of what she knows she lets Zak be my partner in everything. Neither of us mind this as unlike the rest we can talk and still get our work done. Zak only knows what I tell, he knows nothing of the bully and nothing of my... activites. 

 "Onyx, hey man, get outta your thoughts. All that thinking's gonna get you down," Zak says and waves his hand in front of my face. "I think all the time and it's never gotten me down." A lie. When I think to much my thoughts consume me and down the rabbit hole I go. Taking my seat next to Zak I get out my workbook and pushes my glasses up. A girl passes by and yanks my hair, I say nothing, pass it off as me flipping my hair out of my face. "B***h," I mumble under my breath, she hears it and licks her lips. I know she'll get me back for it. 

 Zak taps me and passes me a note, reading it says 'Why'd you call her a b***h?' I write back easily lying, saying 'She just gave me that kinda look.' "Ah," he says and shakes his head as Ms.Guidry walks in. "Buenos tardes clase!" She says and smiles, her heels clicking against the floor as she walks around fast paste. I'm to busy worrying about what that girl will do than what Ms.Guidry will do in her lesson. It didn't take long for her rumors to start up, and halway through the class the note reached me. Zak gave it to me but he didn't read it as he might have thought it was from one of my 'friends.' I read it. 'Are you a cutter? You look like a cutter. Go slit your wrist a little deeper.'

 Tears started in my eyes as the giggles around the room started when I crumbled it up. Brushing the tears away I continued to stay strong til' I could go home. With my thinking all the time the rest of the day went by fast. "I'm home!" I shout as I go to my room. My room was a midnight purple, and there are posters of bands everywhere. The bands ranging from country ones to death metal ones. I had a loft bed, a bed on top and a couch on the bottom, in one corner was a black glass table with a purple desk chair and a laptop. "That's great honey, how was school?" My mother calls but her voice sounded distracted so I didn't answer and she didn't bother me. The door bell rings and I call out, "I got it!"

 I run downstairs which leads right to the front door, and I open it. It's Zak. "Oh hey," I say and let him in. "Hey, just wanted to make sure you're okay. I heard the rumors.." Biting my lip I gave a little sigh and pulled him to my room to talk to him privately. "What rumors did you here exactly?" I asked while closing the door and sat on the couch part of my bed. "One about you being a cutter."

 "And do you believe it?"

 "Why would I have reason to believe it? You seem normal and happy enough. Plus why would you think of doing a stupid thing like that?" He says and watches me with care as he sits in the chair. I give a small laugh, "Right." His eyebrows furrow and he looks at me intently, "You wouldn't think of doing a stupid thing like that would you?" I held his gaze before looking away, "No, are you crazy? Why would I damage all of this?" I say and holds my to my hips in a striking pose while giggling. Zak smiles and shakes his head, "Mhmm, right."

 We sat and talked for hours, eventually he had to leave. It was close to dinner time when he left, but I wasn't hungry so instead I took a shower. What he didn't know, and what I plan to keep from everyone is that I'm really stupid enough to do that stupid thing. But today wouldn't be the day I'd break my streak of not doing. Not over a little thing like that. No one knows, not even my parents. An ex-friend however did know.. She became popular and with that she no longer wants anything to do with me. Bullies me like the low-life she is. I brushed my black hair when I came out to avoid bad tangles in the morning. My smokey grey-blue eyes heavy with tiredness. I didn't get much sleep last night, so I was hoping to get some tonight. 

  I slept peacefully that night for once in awhile, and I woke up feeling good. Putting on a hoodie, and leggings I went into my closet to put on makeup and brush my hair. It was a walk-in closet clearly but not a big one just the one that has the double doors that open. My make-up was simple, just winged eyeliner, mascara, and eyebrow filling. Sometimes a little lip-gloss too, if I really wanted, but not today, everything of what I wore was waterproof. I grabbed my glasses and put them on, then grabbed my stuff only to see Zak waiting outside. Soon after I saw him my phone rang and it was him, I smiled and answered it. "Stalking much?" I tease and he scoffs, "Come on, we are going to be late."

 Hanging up I left my room and went outside, hugging Zak lightly as some cuts from last week aren't healed yet and I reopened them in the shower last night. Today feels like a bad one... I get in the car and he gets in the driver's seat. It was quiet riding to school which I don't mind, gives me time to think and prepare myself for today. Zak parks and right as I'm about to open the door he locks it. I look back at him with confusion, "Why'd you lock the door?" He sighs and turns towards me, "You're a girl right? So there's this girl that I like and I can't help but feel she's keeping things from me. What do I do?" he asks and I'm shocked. "Oh, well... I would ask her about it, confront her nicely. Ask her why she's keeping things from you," I tell him and smiles softly though what he said hurt because even though he's my best friend I've liked him for a while now. I'll get over it though, he unlocks the door and I get out.

 "It's gonna rain," I say quietly and looks up at Zak because of how tall he is compared to me. "Yeah it is," he says and we walk into the school. I get stared at as I normally don't walk in with Zak, I hear them however. All of them. "What's she doing with him?" "Why does he want a s**t like her?" "Skank." "W***e." "Cutter." All of which Zak doesn't seem to notice but I do and I run off, leaving Zak to call after me. Running into the bathroom I see my ex-friend and her new friends, Vanessa... "Oh look, it's the cutter. Of course only I really know that she does it. Girls pin her." I'm confused for a moment in my emotional state until the two other girls pin me to the wall and Vanessa yanks my sleeve down then takes a picture. 

 "No! Vanessa delete it, so help me god." "God doesn't help people like you," she spits and leaves the girls beat me down then leaves themselves. I go into a stall and locks it, weeping and I rock myself back and forth, those girls made sure to leave bruises. I know what she'll do with the picture, she'll post it everywhere she can. I wipe my tears and gets up, leaving the bathroom before the bell rings, making sure I look like I haven't been crying.