#1

A Poem by Tristan

Give my enemies common visage
And of my lovers the same body,
Without difference being equally expendable.

© 2011 Tristan

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Noa

A lot of potential thought in this; I like that. The only thing that disturbs me a little is the 'of' in the second line; I can't connect it in the sentence and it feels a little out of place. The syllable feels like it should be there though, so the rhythm is good.

Is this going to be a series, as you've numbered this 1? Is it themed in some way? I'd love to know, if I'm not being too curious :P

Thanks for sharing!
-Noa

Posted 14 Years Ago

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1 Review
Added on December 10, 2011
Last Updated on December 10, 2011

Author

Tristan

United Kingdom

About

I have one work-in-progress e-book published on smashwords.com called A Touch of Oscar, Wild. I entered this year's NaNoWriMo for the first time, and I'm a first-time winner. more..