Under Dust

Under Dust

Wait in line
The time
Is sliding off the clock
Pay the fine
This life
Is a name etched in a rock

Daylight’s broken ‘round the edges
Dreams of death
And empty pledges
Somewhere in some book that’s hidden
Under dust, these words are written
Life is but a wishing well
And one can never know
Where his coin is gonna go
If you reach the highest shelf
You will find
Yourself

 

 

Tyler Dameron

Author's Note

Another song/poem that I gave up on once starting... not sure where I wanted to go with it. It didn't turn out what I wanted it to be. Yeah, Ir eally don't care for this one.
Written on 5/9/11

Reviews

[Gordon]

This is seriously good stuff. I don't give out praises where I don't think they belong. This poem starts off outstanding, but I agree even as I read it I could tell you didn't know where you wanted to go with it. Happens to me alot. I would like to spend a little time working on it and try and steer it in a direction if you don't mind. Maybe I can send you a message with an alternate ending. But I really like these lines:

Wait in line
The time
Is sliding off the clock
Pay the fine
This life
Is a name etched in a rock

Daylight’s broken ‘round the edges
Dreams of death
And empty pledges
Somewhere in some book that’s hidden
Under dust, these words are written

After this it goes downhill for me. Maybe you agree too. But you are on to something with this. I would not give up.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A spiked and realistic vote, well done, great read.

[Arizona Sky]

Well I think it's cool.

I really like the ring to it and think that it can be interpreted many ways.
Really enjoyed it actually, and would love to put music to it!