Distracted

Poem about being distracted.

Wind blowing across the sand,
covering most of the land.
Birds floating in the sky,

freeing my thoughts up high.

 

Waves howling in anger,
being nature's strangler.
Calming, in a peaceful sway
with my mind at bay.

The winds soon die,
no birds in the sky,
Ideas chained down,
limited, on the ground.

Chained and no longer free,
I can look at the real sea,
The waves are still splashing,
but something is lacking.

The emotion of the waves dazed,
with logical reasoning , in its place.
No longer a warrior of nature,
they are now just another danger.

   I wish I can get the emotion back,
   maybe it's not the waves that lack.

Waves still splash with fearsome power,
but I fail to see rage that devours.

Author's Note

loads of changes, please look at version 1 and compare.

Reviews

[Vin]

I really enjoyed reading this :) I loved the way the way you once saw ocean is lost and you can't seem to get it back. The imagery was amazing and it flowed very well. A great write here, well done!

-Beth

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. Sometime hard to find energy for rage. We need to stop and think. I like the description and story in your words. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[FeliciaS (Poetic Prince..]

pretty cool

[Devons]

Yeah, I think you improved it a lot. It has a much more measured approach now, I think. Just one line bugs me though (apologies!): "with logical reasoning , right in place." - perhaps it is the repeating of "place", or maybe it should read "in its place"...
Anyway, moot point probably. It's a very good piece of work nonetheless.

[Devons]

In just a few verses I think this poem has a strong capacity for impact. The power of natural inspiration and the pseudo-oneness with the spirit of vitality in existence comes across strongly, emphasised by its comparison to the loss or lacking of that feeling. It puts across the message of the subject very well indeed in that sense. So often the influential effect of a given moment or experience is unfortunately lost to creativity and cannot be recaptured when one attempts to redirect this inspiration into words..