Bridge

Haven't written for a while, would LOVE some opinions please!

A single bridge in a rocky road,

result of a ticket I have been sold.

Cracks cover the wooden steps,

under neat a beautiful watery grave.

First step gives a small squeak.

Growing louder as I advance.

Slowly and frigidly I begin to sneak,

hiding from the laws of the world.

An angel guiding my lonesome hand,

as I cross this bridge to the other land.

One lightly step followed by another.

A dotted smile cheering me on.

SNAP!....SPLASH!

I freeze in total terror!

A portal to my grave,

Mouth open, ready to swallow.

The angel releases my hand!

Leaving my soul at its fate!

I stagger, but keep steady.

Today will not be my date.

Author's Note

stanza 1(plus general poem description) - This poem is about a man about to cross a very fragile, wooden bridge. The bridge is a choice made and now you regret, however, you still must follow through it. "result of a ticket I have been sold" meaning result of a choice I was sold to make, indicating some sort of external pressure, friends and family. Cracks cover the wooden steps signifies how fragile the bridge is, and that a wrong step could send one to their "beautiful watery grave" Grave does not mean death, but death is a metaphor for failure. A beautiful grave because of how deadly it is, it is a beautiful sight to see from above. When you think about it, when you see it from a remote distance, it is beautiful, like a waterfall running down the steam, it is appealing. But, once you actually dive down, it turns into a grave.

Stanza 2- First step gives a small squeak, this means that the first signs of danger have clearly shown themselves, before you could see the bridge, rotten and old, dangerous by reason, but now, now that you can hear the squeaking of the wooden boards, you're looking at it's eyes now, up close. Each squeak grows louder by each step, each one an ever present warning to what's to come. Slowly and frigidly, I begin to sneak. Sneaking past the laws of the world. The laws of the world are indeed what they are, the laws of the world, these could be from social norms to state laws. If we stick to the metaphor, we are trying to sneak past the laws of physics, so we can pass the bridge safely.

Stanza 3- An angel guiding my lonesome hand is a loyal friend giving a helping hand to cross your bridge. The poet is encouraged by the angel, and starts moving with one lightly step followed by another. A dotted smile cheering me on. A dotted smile is indeed a fake smile. A forced smile the angel gives so that your bridge wouldn't seem so rotten.

Stanza 4- SNAP SPLASH! A step breaks loose and falls down into the water. Frozen in total fear, the poet steps back and freezes. A portal to failure, so close. Mouth open, ready to swallow. Hear, failure is very, very close, and the tiniest movement could send the poet hurling down the bridge into the watery grave.

Stanza 5- As the poet is frozen in terror, the angel lets go of the poet, leaving his soul at it's fate! This is an opinion that while angels(friends) help to cross the bridge, they cannot cross the bridge for us, and the most difficult problems are often left by our selves. The poet staggers, but keeps steady, and promises that today will not be his date with the watery grave.

Reviews

[Star Bright]

Very well written! It sounds very realistic and creative. I can definitely picture this happening. It definitely gets you thinking! (:

[loowzerX]

A very realistic and relatable write! well done :)

[Caitlynxoxo]

this was...wow. I could picture every word perfectly, as if i too were crossing that aged bridge :) This was by far my favourite line in the entire poem!:

"An angel guiding my lonesome hand,
as I cross this bridge to the other land."

this was just so good! It sounded so professional, which isn't to say that anyone's work on here shouldn't, or doesn't. I just mean that this peom sounded like one that would be passed around through generations, along with other stories, used as an example of perserverance!! thanks for sharing; it was wonderful, and a pleasure to read

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

@serah not all friends let go, but I've had my fair share that have, and unfortunately you remember them more then those who've held on.

[r]

I love this so much! It is amazing how much meaning you can have behind your words. Also it flows nicely and I love the way you tell the story. Amazing. :)

[...]

. that's totally brave and courageous, ryan ... but something's not right about this angel ... letting go like that is a pretty creepy thing to do ... just my thoughts ... of course your language and words flow beautifully ... but i did feel a little scared as i read this ...

[Coyote Poetry]

Must be careful crossing the old bridges. I like this poem. Sometime we need help and prayers to cross the hard roads. We all need a few angels in a life. A very good poem. You made me think.
Coyote