TASTY FREEDOM

Just understood that Its me. I am my own muse for this poem.

TASTY FREEDOM

GIVE ME IDEAS

FULL WITH ROMANCE, ADVENTURE, AND CURIOSITY.

I EXPLORE THE WORLD, AND TRAVEL.

EAT, RIDE AND CLIMB.

ON MY COMPUTER...

THEN THAT’S WHAT REMINDS ME THAT,

I ‘VE GOT NO FREEDOM…

BUT STILL ITS AWESOME WITH OUT BOOKS TO STUDY…….

Author's Note

Please help me to improve my writing...teach me ... comment on how you really feel...

Reviews

[Robert Gluzman]

I like the comical touch here :)

'BUT STILL ITS AWESOME WITH OUT BOOKS TO STUDY…….'
I would say: ´But hey, at least I don't need books to study'

Remember to be completely loyal to your style of writing for every piece. Here it seems as if you are almost telling this yourself to a group of audience, don't be afraid to use a informal style. Make it sound like you are chit chatting with us.

Another issue is that its too short. You have a awesome idea here that you can explore and work on it more. Try to deceive the audience more. Get into your whole freedom rant, make them believe you are almost serious, until all of a sudden you slap in the face with the computer :)

[Last2know]

wow pal thanks for your review. and lease help me to improve further. salute to your comment>>>>