The Bench

I wrote this in my Creative Writing class for our Flash Fiction assignment.

I watched from five stories above, a wooden bench with iron components, slowing becoming obscured by the constant snow fall.
The bench, the “s” shaped cobble path, the rusted trash container, all vanished against the white environment. All forgotten until spring.
I assumed that they hung onto hope, for once spring came around, that maintenance would return and warm their cold bones right up.
I then realized that the surgeon had returned to bring news of my mother. I only hoped that she had return to reveal that the cancer was curable.

A year later, and I still wait for my bones to be warmed.

Reviews

[DebLisa]

I like this. I wonder if you could describe the iron components of the wooden bench more. I also wonder whether it would sound better if the next to the last paragraph started, "Then I realized....," rather then "I then realized...." I look forward to reading more of your fiction.

[Undeadjem]

Thank you for your feedback!!! I agree with you with switching around 'then'. I think I would've enjoyed explaining more of the iron components, but with the flash fiction assignment demanding only a 100 word count, it was difficult. Lol. Thanks again!