Mortification

From the depths of your screams,

I salute you my fellow sinner, 

For this is a place we deserve to be,

Damnation and torture awaits.

A Priest claimed, a minion of God,

But yet so monstrous and evil you are,

Innocence of a child you have taken,

Forever in flames you shall burn .

Prudence did fall, angels did cry,

Slaves of hell shall wander around.

Gates of nether are closed,

For salvation you can only moan,

For eternal is your life in misery.

Prayer is no more a way of escape,

Stupid creation, don't you see?

Ignorance and heresy brought you here,

Your tears will bring no mercy,

For there is no God south of Heaven.

Author's Note

I may have some grammar issues, so please inform me if you find them.

Reviews

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I adore your sense of meaning within the context of religion and personal thought! Grammatically I would only make these changes,

From the depths of your screams,
I salute you my fellow sinner,
For this is a place we deserve to be,
Damnation and torture waits.

A Priest claimed, a minion of God,
But yet so monstrous and evil you are,
Innocence of a child you have taken,
Forever in flames you shall burn.

Prudence did fall, angels did cry,
Slaves of hell shall wander around.
Gates of nether are closed,
For salvation you can only moan,
For eternal is your life in misery.

Prayer is no more a way of escape,
Stupid creation, don't you see?
Ignorance and heresy brought you here,
Your tears will bring no mercy,
For there is no God south of Heaven.

[forevermore1218]

you should start a church :D

also really good poem mate

[Perfect Mistake]

Not really into poems about religon or anything but i actually do admire this one. Great work on this :3

[Simmirose]

This is an amazing piece. the life that you give to this poem is breathtaking. as i read the poem i saw it all. great imagery and your message is terrific. i felt that this place, hell, is not only a place from the after life but also a place in each one of us. this was an amazing read. thank you

[xSamilynnx]

this is really good very well written n has a great flow :D good job ^__^

[SheActsLikeSummer]

I found this really interesting. The way you convey the soul of the poem. It's different. I'm normally not into religious poems as I'm atheist so I may not fully understand the meaning of this piece, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[Mikayla Rasmussen]

after reading the other piece i had to keep going and i am completely impressed again.

for some one who doesn't follow a religion, it sure sounds like you do, and that is a skill only a true writer has i think. this was so well written it was hard for me to remember that you are not a famous author yet and that this was not from the bible.

[Ascending]

I like this poem, but the emotion it created in me, I can't help to say, is fear. This poem invokes an imagine of a place filled with demon and pain. In my perspective this poem is conveying that this place, this hell is our inner self's and no one can safe you from you.

[Morrigan Nicole]

Great, i especially liked the last two stanzas. the last was my favorite, your point came across nicely.

[Norma M Sutton]

A interesting piece.