a Reality Lost

given to a lust
  that rust all beauty away
 distorts my senses and estranged with what it means to be humane,

 childhood moments that strangled my life

and strangled, it did all on the way
 no acknowledgment of reality of what it means to be upright, or deserving of being in comfort of others, in the light or in the comfort of night.
secrets kept hidden, to be someone no one wants to be around.
what was moral, utterly bankrupt.
and so what is given, a cross, not baring justice but shame. 
bound to the reality, denials of second chances to change,

 a gift so great
in the heart will not be found if it cannot be put into perspective of how depraved.
free gift of salvation comes with passing the milestone and it stays in place.
being someone who couldn't know the difference

but has become disciplined by the experience seeing things different

and feeling a reality lost in my heart.
 to think this ends in the trade of men and slaves. no more question
 and so reality is lost by what turns to a weapon in the house hold of untreated addiction, the yearning that calls.
Those who choose to look to better things

Once I couldn't see just how good and something evil is.

 where there is no conformity.
 counterfeit the simple needs of life

 counterfeiting meaning of good times. counterfeiting ways to define what should've been

 beautiful with grace, or something thats perfectly fine done with a wife.

.
 Found that out of most this the greatest social issue that still persist.

doesn't allow for a just world
what could have been 

lives measured by the worth of their gold and pearls.
 godless if there was an anthem is a generation having the least fault line that settles

 from we continue 

atleast this would be

 enough to keep to the end of the world.

 forces of the earth and heaven.

pretending as if it could be circumvented 

this addiction should be no one's master, I betrayed the human race without knowing and what god has given.
 no longer look with smiles of assurity, as if opportunity like I've forgotten who gave me life when I was someone of the likes

 my past.

If I betray in search of new ways

as if because I can't discern what is of the kind.

although hollywood sells us a contrast of ideas to marvel after 

I found myself and my captivating lie.
to put it bluntly and grotesque

to turn what should be seen as a person into a drug, a slave

is the abomination in the end of days.
 choose a dollar for something else to embrace
 know the forecast that speak reasons
for warning by those placed

 searching for how to exclaim.
 the reality that I could have had many good times and love multiplied or just a perfect one.

as this is no longer a war, I've been sleeping in a dream as others themselves have told

 and so my past, a reality lost.
searching for comfort in the midst of the ultimate mistake that took over.
 I failed and so what has come to flare judgement.
dare I say I'm not worthy of the lesson.

Not by man but by what will settle unjust works in unjust hands.
because the gifts that were given were not enough

but atleast now amongst the land.
and so reality is not so lost.
a cross, for what needed to be corrected

 in me I bare.