With Which You Choke Me

 

Haha, it is another day.

Ha, it is the same day;

The same day that I left you for May.

 

Swallow, it isn’t bitter.

Choke, you are the dark one.

Swallow; you’re the bottled psyche.

 

And drift away from solace

Oh, don’t drift across the ocean

Who’s current doth transfer,

Unto its own burial,

That with which you taught me

In the summer.

 

So sallow do I wither.

Oh so waning does the heartfelt word,

With which you taught me (Love)

In the autumn.

 

Well now swallow.

You are bitter.

Choke,

You are fervor.

Reviews

[J.P.O.et]

I really like this, I feel a sense of of monotony and emptiness in this piece
with 'it is another day...it is the same day.'
I like how you relate the 'choke, swallow' and it brings up thoughts of being
medicated with the 'bottled psyche', and that just resonates with me, the whole
'bottled psyche' and 'choke and swallow' is really great.
Like the last two verses as well, very well done.

J.P.O.et

[Larissa G.]

What I see is a bitter relationship one isn't sure how to help, or if they should even leave.
I may be right, I may be wrong. It isn't as fluent as usual for me, either. ^_^0

[speakingcolors]

i'm not gonna lie, i'm a little confused. i don't think it's because you aren't portraying whatever it is the theme is, i think i'm just not getting it. however, i do know that i like this...a lot. i detect a tad change in this from your other writing. not sure if your changing as a writer or if this is something outside of your norm. i think i must be indecisive today. i've had three tests this week. i'm brain shot. anyways, good poem.