DID I FEEL THE SUN TODAY

DID I FEEL THE SUN TODAY

 

Did I feel the sun today?

I lightly closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and slowly released it

I welcomed the warmth and light I felt all around me

I could feel the breeze ever so lightly moving my hair around my shoulders

I imagined all my children in their younger state

I embrace them taking in the feel of them surrounding me

The smell of their hair, the softness of their skin

I embrace them tighter

Taking in another deep breath and slowly release

 

As I release the breath slowly, I can feel the breeze as it brought in the sweet smell of honey suckle bringing me back to memories of my own childhood

The sound of bees buzzing around me, the sound of bird song, and the bright beautiful colors of flowers I can hear and see all around me

I could then taste the sweet subtle flavor of fruit emerging into my mouth

 

Did I feel the sun today?

I take another deep breath in and slowly release as my eyes remain closed

I start to hear the sound of waves coming to a peak and crashing onto the shore

I could smell the salt as it enveloped all around me

A light breeze tickles my shoulders and I can hear the playful splash of children in the distance

accompanied by their angelic laughter

It is in this moment I realized that this was the sound of my own children in their purest form

I feel calm and weightless

I start to dig my toes into the sand I can now feel beneath my toes and wait as the rise of the water washes the sand away

I want to stay in this place

It’s comfortable and peaceful, but I know its not real

 

Did I feel the sun today?

I clinch my eyes tightly with the time has grown near to get back to the present

As I breathe in and slowly release I hold onto the moment for as long as possible

I begin to feel an unknown pull into another direction what is darker in naturee sun begins to fade, the breeze becoming stale, the sound of the waves slowly becoming less audible than before, the children’s laughter begins to diminish and harder for me to hear

The embrace being pulled away

The smell of sea salt becoming something different and undesirable in nature

 

My eyes remain closed and I attempt to take another deep breath in, however the air has become thick

The sun has left my presence and the darkness is becoming stronger

I try to push it away as my mind fights light with dark

All the good I was trying to hold onto were beginning to fall into the darkness my mind was wagering with

The darkness is devouring everything it has in sight as a ravenous lion in the wild

The power of breathing slow and deep has now lost its power and I am becoming more aware of my surroundings

The sun replaced by the blinding light of an unnatural source

Slowly opening my eyes, I squint from the brightness of the fluorescent lights

My hands are curled tight in a fist and my body is rigid and damp

No more warmth from the breeze, no birds, no angelic laughter, crashing waves have diminished in sound, and the sand replaced by a cold hard floor

I learned that this dark entity that had no name, has now been placed

I am that darkness

All I can do is hold onto the memories that bring me peace and the reality is that I will have to make new memories for my future

I can decide the narrative to that story and look forward to knowing I was strong to feel the sun today