The Floater

The first monologue/narrative from my book "Confessions of a Teenager".

 

Have you ever known anyone who just kind of drifts? Who doesn't really have a main goal? Who never knows where to start?

 

Well, that's me. . .

 

The floater.

 

I'm not really sure why, but I don't really have any particular passion or talent. I just kind of…float. Laid-back is almost an understatement. Half the time it's 'I could really care less'. The other half is… Well, I don't know.

 

Sometimes, it's not that I don't care, but that my brain seems to have short-circuited when it come to talent. Technically, I can do anything if I put my mind to it. It's just that last part I have a problem with. It's not that I'm lazy. I'm just not that good at focusing.

 

I wonder if I have ADD or something. I asked my friend about that once.

 

"It's not that you pay don't pay enough attention. It's that you pay way too much attention to everything you're not supposed to pay attention to," he said.

 

This had me confused for a while. Eventually I figured it out. I can't focus because I'm always paying attention to needless things. If that makes any sense…

 

I wonder what I could do with my life, sometimes. I feel like the type of kid who could be a bag-boy at the local grocer. For the rest of his life. I almost wouldn't mind. Who knows… I definitely don't. Everybody talks about college, and plans, and careers. I graduate this spring. A month. Maybe less? I still have no idea what I'll do.

 

Probably what I've always done.

 

Float.