My Web

Something I made for my creative writing class.

Weaving a story,

weaving a destiny,

weaving my web of lies,

 

So young and smart

So dark and dangerous,

So filled with knowledge.

 

My mind filled with voices

Some men, some women,

Some nice, some evil

 

With pen and paper

Or keyboard and memory

My hands weave my webs

 

My web spreads slowly

Pulling in my prey,

Keeping them in my clutches

 

But much too soon,

Death came to me

Pulled me away from my web.

 

But I still have my prey

to this day

oh how I enjoy them all the way

Author's Note

Go ahead and tell me what ever, but please be nice.... please???

Reviews

[San Herman Lopez a.k.a...]

A wonderful piece. I really enjoyed it.

"My mind filled with voices
Some men, some women,
Some nice, some evil"

Reminds me of the this "NAS" Song that goes "Some of us have Demons, some of us have angels".
This world is so mis understood and people over complicate it. In the end it pays to stay real to oneself. Again great piece and I look forward to reading more of your writings.

[Rebecca Rogers]

I agree with Lttf... I feel that it's lacking something. Don't get me wrong, it's a very nice poem! :)

[Cheryl J. Turner]

This is a well written piece, very carefully constructed but I do feel it lacks feeling. Don't be afraid to put yourself in your poetry, strip yourself bare in a methaphorical sense and mive through your words.
All in all I thought it was a good write.