Long Gone

Not sure how to describe it really.

In the deep dark of the night your body seems to fill my head along with that beautiful mind.
My thoughts fill with fright just because I might,
Somehow find that I messed things up for the very last time

Oh, how it deserves to be called a crime, when I push you away with elaborate mimes and fall astray, but not because of what happened that day, no, but because of the way I think and the things I say. Oh how I wish I could get away, from you.

It eats and cries and pries away, any hope I have garnered for the very next day. "Oh please may I?" I plead, "Get away for just one day. An hour? A minute?" And it all rolls out with a thundering sigh that sounds like the dying of me.
The demonic thing that refuses to let go, hidden underneath the blackened layers of snow, that uses to be so innocent, white, pristine.
But not now, only then, not ever again.

It's not all bad though, I mean, It could be worse. At least I'm not lying in the back of a hearse. Yet. It's still a possibility, wrapped in the setting of an all white facility, where maybe, j-u-s-t maybe, I should be. Hiding from thee. Somewhere I could be free, to not be me, no. To be someone else, encased in the tiniest skelf, of shame, because I know that feeling of disdain. Oh how we used to complain about the pain that didn't exist
on the sur-face.
So vain yet boringly sane. Overly mundane.

It's all in the past, hopefully it won't come back in a blast, but that's just a hope. Something that I used to use to cope, like the dope, although much less expensive and altogether less productive, just more seductive. Not unlike you.

Author's Note

I put the commas and dashes in to provide a slow and a stop, I'm not exactly gifted when it comes to the use of punctuation as it is anyway.