Ten Billion Tears (Leak)

another sample of my upcoming collection :)

I cried a river you didn’t mind
You just swam across just fine
I cried an ocean the world has drowned
But yet you are still around
I cried you a waterbed
Yet you just slept
I drowned instead
My greatest fear

Ten Billion tears
And not even a glance
Ten Billion years
Felt like it had just past
Ten Billion tears
Coming down one by one
Ten Billion tears
Basically for fun
Te, te, ten billion tears

You rode by on a boat
Not a word, not a single note
Didn’t pass me a lifesaver
Whatever...

Reviews

[indieRokker]

I don't even know what to say for that.
"I cried a river you didn't mind
You just swam across just fine"
The emotion that poured out on this small line was somehow in it's own way, powerful.
The first stanza's emotions for its way of depicting a persons feelings and being hurt in the process was just simply amazing. I don't know how to explain how this made me feel, I'm extremly glad you posted this.

Amazing!
indie♥

[Keriun]

I would think this is quite good :) I like the first four lines and the middle part especially. In the last stanza, I would think "Not a word nor a note" would've seemed more fit :)

[Ms. Gruye]

I enjoyed the last stanza very much: it was clever, whatever.
The rest though reminded me too much of Tori Amos's 1000 oceans, "These tears I've cried, I've cried a thousand oceans."

viva la