Am I Dead?

From The Poem Book: The Experience

I love you deeply but you don’t understand how I feel
I try to elaborate it, draw it but nothing still
Do you know what I did, what I do, where I’d go
Just for you
Can you feel, can you see, do you know
About me

Am I dead, a walking zombie
A freak of nature
For you to see
I am here take a look
I’m the one who loves you
I am your queen not a rook

Are you tired or embarrassed of loving me
If you are then let me know so I can pack up and leave
Give me a sign, a hint, a blink of an eye
A wink
Do you feel, what I see, what I do
For you???

Reviews

[Cassandra D.]

This was a cool poem.
It almost makes you wanna read it again :)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This was nice. I found it very dark and beautifully sad..which is a nice thing.
But I also found it a little abstract and raw, so I guess you can work on that

[Keriun]

Ah I think you shouldn't start a new line with a short phrase like "just for you" and "about me" because it kinda walks out of the rhythm.
Also, in the second part, the first three lines were okay, then the next three were abit off in some way. The phrases there were nice but not well put I I would say.
In the last part, I couldn't grasp a rhythm at all =/

Overall I think this was an okay read too :)

[J]

I think it was an okay read :D