she

I looked in grief upon her face

once open, untampered,

childlike.

Did you know you changed that?

 

I looked in utter despair upon her mind

once innocent, clean,

childlike.

Did you know you changed that?

 

I looked in anguish upon her little heart

once free, unspoilt,

childlike.

Did you know you changed that?

 

Your thoughtless desires,

selfish actions

left her empty

with nothing to offer

 

and having lost all

childness

having lost a name

she chose to leave,

chose to seek a name

 

in eternity.

 

Reviews

[Jenny-Jen-Jen]

I love your writing style. The use of repetition is spot on-- you mastered it well. When reading your work, I always seem to feel a sense of truth, honesty and realism in your work. That's a great thing. This is a lovely write.

[melissa]

Very very deep:) great job

[ttom]

I like the transformation of emotions in the poem, from deep pain and grief through the desire to rise from the ashes in the last stanza

[An owl on the moon]

So deeply moving and vivid. You speak profoundly of the power of another to reach deeply into the heart and soul. A painful reminder for us all. Amazing write.

[deeps]

Such emotion in this write here, very well expressed.