Freewrite Attempt #1

This is me doing a ten minute freewrite to get out of writers block...it's pretty funny!

           I walked slowly down the empty street. Everything was so quiet and still. I slowly raised my pistol and approached a one story Abercrombie store to my right. S**t, I can't think of anything. Ten minutes take FOREVER! Blah blah blah when's dinner going to be ready?
           I opened the door slowly and stepped in. Immediately I regretted getting close to the store because I forgot that Abercrombie was a store where you couldn't see s**t. On top of that, music was exploding out of the speakers around me that made the floor literally shake.
           I stumbled forward with the total blackness engulfing me. I hit a wall and felt around until I found the check out counter. I pointed my pistol towards the counter and fired off a whole clip until I finally hit the surround sound system and the music turned off. I sighed and gave a smile to myself.
            All of a sudden a red light beam came through the ceiling making the ceiling around the beam collapse. Luckily, I was on the other side of the room.
            I ran forward until I was almost underneath the hole where the beam appeared and vanished. I looked up into the hole.
            There, flying above the store, was a giant chicken shooting beams out of it's beak and... other places.
             I stumbled out of the store and ran into the middle of the street. I raised my pistol at the flying chicken and screamed," Give me back my thong!" Then I shot.

Author's Note

Point of Freewrite is to write for ten minutes (or longer or shorter) without lifting your pen... even if you don't know what to put. Clearly that is shown here!

Reviews

[Jazique]

In the second to las sentence take away the " ' " in "It's" and other then that your grammar and spelling are perfect. As for your writing itself when it comes to entertainment it was funny especially when i got to the end he said "Give me back my thong!" ha-ha. Nicely done; I was lost at first but, toward the end I found this very enjoyable. Well done keep up the amazing work.

[Brittany]

Even if there is no clear point to your writing, it made me laugh really hard. So good job(:

[Taylor H.]

this was very entertaining. I think if you polished this up a bit, it could be a good short story.

[CaressingDespair]

This was awesome. I was thinking it was going to be so different then how it turned out. Freewriting is great! Loved the bit where the Chicken comes in.

[Kira]

Dear Sir, I think you need psychiatric help. But at least you got out of writer's block, right? Right??

[Norma M Sutton]

And that's the reason I DON'T freewrite. I literally HATE doing that.

[Zachary_James]

Great